Heidi's Notes from Vermont

Summer's Over, Darn

2011-09-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

We did have a lot of fun though.

Jumping in the pool!

Performing water ballet!

Jumping at the Jersey Shore!

Playing in the sand at the Jersey Shore.

Growing beautiful flowers.

Starting to build a greenhouse.

Making flower arrangements.

I wish Summer wasn't over; I had a lot of fun with the family. However, I'm really glad school has started.

43 Year Old Vermont Woman Arrested for Attempted Breaking and Entering into the NYS Vital Records Office...

2011-05-10T19:00:00.001-05:00

Police Beat_

Albany County NY_

Heidi L., a 43 year old Vermont woman was arrested Monday for attempted breaking and entering into the New York State Vital Records Office, located at 800 North Pearl Street, Menands, NY.

The woman was allegedly trying to obtain a copy of her own original birth certificate.

Her efforts were thwarted by a passerby, who becoming mildly alarmed, shouted "Damn, woman, what's wrong with you? You'll never bust into that building with just a JC Penney Platinum credit card.!"

To which, according to the eyewitness, the woman started crying and mumbling something about, not having an "original birth certificate" and not knowing who she is!

The witness, fearing this woman might be insane, called the police and reported what was happening. He then handed the woman a paper bag containing a half drunk bottle of Mad Dog 20/20, stating "you look like you could use a drink." then fled the scene before police arrive.

Later, a photo sent anonymously was tagged to the local police departments Facebook page.

Heidi L. was arraigned in Menands Village Court and released after paying a $30 fine, coincidentally the same amount it would cost for her to get a copy of her birth certificate, if it was in fact available to her.

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For those of you that don't know me, I'M KIDDING! For those of you that do know me, you know I've seriously contemplated this course of action!
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Click on the label "adoption" below to read more about my search for my birth family.
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I recently joined the online support group NY Adoptees. If you were born/adopted in NY or know someone who is adopted, please join.

Are You My Mama?

2011-04-03T20:36:00.002-05:00

I called the PI, twice. Finally she got back to me via email. She claims that my case is still open and they are still searching for my biological family. The problem they are having is that my information states that I was born in one state, New York, and was adopted in another, Massachusetts.

Neither state is willing to give me even my non-identifying information. Which they both would give, if I had been born and adopted in one of those states. But not both!

I already knew this. I was denied the ability to even register as an adoptee in these states which means any bio family would be denied also. But I've already written about this issue in past posts.

Still frustrated and annoyed.

So tonight I'm going to start searching online for a new PI. Then tomorrow I'm going to call some and see if I can't find any with the ability or experience, to break through these barriers.

The only good thing about the PI I have now, is that I haven't had to pay anything. I have a set fee contracted to pay only when they find someone living in my bio family. Name, address, phone number.

Again, any suggestions?

Who Do You Think I Am?

2011-03-24T13:00:00.001-05:00

I've never watched the show Who Do You Think You Are. I am unable to not get upset, even during commercials for those types of TV shows. It's not like they are doing anything extraordinary. The actors know who they are, they know their names and their parents names, things every human being has a right to know.

I just want to know my name.

I try not to be bitter or angry about famous people getting free -and of course themselves being paid-help finding their ancestry. That's just life, and sometimes life isn't fair.

Yes, my search for my biological family is still the one thing that makes me feel sorry for myself. It's the one thing that can cause me to cry spontaneously.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I just want help. Because of the unusual details of my adoption, I don't even know how to continue with my search. The usual paths don't seem to apply to me.

But I've decided to try and take a more active part in my search. So for my next blog posts, I'm going to write about at least one thing I've done to search.

Any suggestions will be appreciated.
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Today I called the PI I hired 2 years ago. In the beginning, I would email her every week, then every month, then a year went by, nothing. I emailed her about six months ago and she did say not to give up, that my case was taking longer than usual..

So now it's been over 2 years and I decided to call instead of email. I reached the founder of the PI agency, told her my name and asked if she was still working on my case. She told me that she was not in the office, but would get back to me tonight after 4. Sure.

I'm going to try and not cry.

I'll update as soon as she calls me back.
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If you want to find out more about my adoption search story, click on the label 'Adoption' below.

At Least Someone is Having Fun this Winter

2011-02-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

I can't wait for Winter to be over! Hopefully Spring will bring me some much needed energy and enthusiasm to write.

At least Tony has been having a blast, at least a daily, tubing on our land.

From the top...

From the bottom...

Happy Valentine's Day, Lovers!

The 12 Days of Hus's Unemployment

2011-01-18T13:26:00.003-05:00

Sung to the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the second day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the third day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the fourth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the fifth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the sixth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the seventh day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the eighth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Eight oatmeal cookies,
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches no-bakes,
and A dust free wood stove mantle.

On the ninth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Nine bowls chicken soup,
Eight oatmeal cookies,
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches of no-bakes,
and A dust free wood burning stove mantle.

On the tenth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Ten loads of laundry,
Nine bowls chicken soup,
Eight oatmeal cookies,
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches of no-bakes,
and A dust free wood burning stove mantle.

On the eleventh day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Eleven meatballs cooking,
Ten loads of laundry,
Nine bowls chicken soup,
Eight oatmeal cookies,
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches of no-bakes,
and A dust free wood burning stove mantle.

On the twelfth day of unemployment, my husband gave to me...
Twelve pounds protruding (from my belly)
Eleven meatballs cooking,
Ten loads of laundry,
Nine bowls chicken soup,
Eight oatmeal cookies,
Seven shoveled pathways,
Six clean basement shelves,
Five more coo-ookiiiieeeees!
Four calling friends,
Three french loaves,
Two batches of no-bakes,
and A dust free wood burning stove mantle.

Poor Hus.

Thinking of Summer

2011-01-12T17:00:00.001-05:00

I've never been an outdoors person. Mostly because for me to actually want to go outside, the weather has to be perfect; Low 80's with low humidity and calm winds. That doesn't happen that often in Vermont...or anywhere!I also have to have something specific to do outside. Mostly I enjoy lounging outside if the weather is nice.

If the kids are home, I have to force myself, to avoid the guilt of being a lazy ass mother, to go outside to play with them. I'm proud of myself that today I did just that. I went outside with Tony in the snow storm, walked around, measured snow inches, made a snow angel and sat inside our tree house a bit. Little time passed and I returned inside and started drinking wine. (Still drinking, so forgive my grammar and spelling errors, please!)

Occasionally I also get these creative ideas which bring me outside. Today I thought I should take pictures of the bright red male cardinals against the sparkly white snow, but when I finally brought the camera outside, the cardinals had departed. I did get this photo of an English Sparrow (actually I took it from inside) perched on our "thingy hanger" on the porch.

And a picture of fluffy Summer sitting on the porch. He was outside less time than me!

Once, when Em was a baby, I decided it would be a wonderful idea to take pictures of her outside surrounded by all of Hus's flowers. It worked out while she was on the porch. Soo pretty! ( I think those larkspur are poisonous, oops)

But then I decided I would put her, still in her bouncy seat, on the hillside in an actual flower bed. Well, of course she started screaming, and then bouncing and then flipping herself over...

I managed to snap this photo before dropping the camera and throwing myself down to catch her before she landed face first in the flowers.

I felt like such a horrible mother that day, thinking, OMG, how could I have been so careless? She could have died! Over a silly picture!

Now I think it was pretty funny.

2010-12-27T00:00:00.002-05:00

This Winter can't go by fast enough. I know you're not supposed to rush time away because you only have so much, but I am already sick of winter. Luckily, time has been flying by and the weather hasn't been so bad. So far.

Ya, I don't want to hear that I chose to live here. I know, and for the most part I do like it here. I just really really don't like winter weather. Snow is okay but last year we had so many ice storms it was scary. I'll even take sleet over freezing rain because at least your tires have something to grip on.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I had a fun time at the SIL's house. I drank half of the bottle of wine shown below, which is a double size bottle! I would have drank more but I started to get tired.

We played a game called The Game of Things. It was pretty funny. Mostly because everyone was drinking alcohol (there was one relative on parole that couldn't drink). I mean the grown-ups were drinking alcohol. The kids were just smoking pot...JUST KIDDING!

I got the best gifts ever...

a giant wine glass, a giant cheap bottle of wine, home-made book marks-which I had to beg the kids to make-because I'm always losing them and have to use tissue as a page marker-and hand sanitizer.

Tony's favorite gifts by far...

giant plastic shelves to sort his legos, and hand sanitizer.

Em...

got another book.

Papa got an over-sized fluffy blanket. For which he announced that if anyone is caught using it, he'll break their arms! He's vicious. So are we, because we laughed at him.

Happy almost New Year!

Miscellaneous Manure 13

2010-12-06T12:00:00.001-05:00

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I love playing tricks on my Hus. A few weeks ago, I refilled an empty bottle of unscented lotion with rose scented lotion. Then I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally I asked Hus if he noticed anything about the lotion and that's when he told me he doesn't use lotion! He uses baby oil after showers and Burts Bee's hand cream. How could I not know this?

Last week, I was doing what I could to prevent my having allergy symptoms. I bought all new hypoallergenic make-up, but forgot to get new face lotion, so I decided to try using some of the regular unscented lotion we had, which said hypoallergenic on the label.

I put it on my face. AAAHHHHH! WTF? I forgot that I had switched the lotion. I'm such a loser.

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Tony has been taking karate this year. He managed to get is orange belt already. He loves karate. Tony didn't like playing baseball because he's the type of kid that needs to know what to do, exactly what to do. None of the 7yo baseball players seemed to know what to do except hit the ball and run. As far as what to do with the ball if someone hits it to you, no clue.

He likes that, in Karate, he's taught very specific moves and routines. It's structured and the Sensei is strict, yet very nice and patient.

When we watched Tony perform for his orange belt, I said to Hus. "He seems to really know what he's doing."

Hus replied "Well, we think he does. She could be teaching whatever she wants and we'll never know if it's really karate or not.LOL!"
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I've changed the kids nicknames to other nicknames we use. Someone (Suzy) complained that Ant-1 didn't roll of her tongue easy enough and that Snemma makes her think of "smegma"! Also Em does not like me to call her Snemma here, preferring her other nickname Em. So Tony and Em it is.
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Happy Hanukkah! Still!

Happy Hanukkah!

2010-12-01T10:00:00.003-05:00

Happy Hanukkah! Yes the first night of Hanukkah is tonight, but because I have to work, we celebrated last night. Poor kids, having to get their first night presents early.

I grew up in a predominately non-Jewish neighborhood. The only time my friends were jealous of me was when Hanukkah came early. The rest of the year, I think they felt sorry for me. I felt sorry for me.

Even though my parents had told me a "truth" about Santa at a very young age, I still believed, because kids do that. Some Xmas Eves I would look out the window, searching the sky, and wondering why the fat bastard didn't come to my house!

My kids are fortunate to celebrate both holidays. They don't get more presents than any of their friends, but the gifts are just spread out.

Last night we lit the candles and we said the Hanukkah prayer in Hebrew. At least I think it was the Hanukkah prayer, maybe it was the Sabbath prayer with a "shell Hanukkah" thrown in at the end. Bad Jew.

Grandma always sends eight presents each to the kids, luckily one of them was not a visit from her this year. We just saw her at TG!

Ant-1's gift from Hus and I, although Hus will never know how much I spent on it, even though I saved $30 off retail by shopping Amazon! Lego's are very expensive, but my son loves them. He has many of the Star Wars Lego kits and know covets the Harry Potter ones.

Don't let the quote fool you. She also upgraded her phone, but we had to do it last week when we could bring in her old phone.

For the first evening in a long time, my daughter spent her time, not on FB or Skype, but drawing instead.

I hope, no matter what holiday you celebrate, that you get a present that takes your breath away!

You Shouldn't Eat Family on Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Grandma, my mother, is here for Thanksgiving. She has somehow managed to make it a tradition that she stay two nights for the holiday instead of one. I know that wasn't my idea.

I shouldn't really complain. She keeps Ant-1 busy her entire stay by doing anything he wants. Hide in Seek, board games, cards. I tried to warn her about the playing cards before they started today, that he is not a very good loser, and he doesn't like to playing by the rules, but she let him win.

I also shouldn't complain about grandma because she just handed me a $50 bill. She said it's for the turkey and other food I bought. I'm not going to tell her I got the $7 turkey for free. Actually, I got two turkeys for free. Except they were not really free because I had to spend $500 TWICE to get them.

I spend way too much money on groceries.

Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, and don't have to cook a family member.

Poor Big Bird.

Saturday Sounds 24 or Do You Love Me?

2010-11-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

I love this song. It makes me happy.

Hus hates this song because it gets stuck in his head and he can't stop himself from singing it out loud at times. (I heard him in the shower!)

Ant-One likes the video because the band is wearing long underwear.

Snemma could care less either way.

The Cow That Was Mad

2010-11-16T20:30:00.000-05:00

In previous posts, I have shared some of my daughters writings. Ant-One has only been writing a short time but has already written several stories. This is one of his earliest works but still one of my favorites.

The Cow That Was Mad

one day thar was a cow that was so mad. that he rect the gate. that was rite in frent of him. when the farmr got home he was so mad that he sole the cow.

Note the drawing on the bottom of the page of the cow being auctioned off! Batman is clearly being outbid by some anonymous dude on the stage to the right. What would Batman want with a cow anyways?

I Got a Lot Done These Past Six Weeks Off

2010-11-08T11:30:00.005-05:00

I've had almost six weeks off from work since my Carpal Tunnel surgery. I had big plans for this time, lots of stuff on my to do list. Did I get all of it done? Not even close.

I had hoped to write 4 complete chapters of my book and a query letter for it. HA! I only wrote 3 chapters, very rough draft chapters, and Googled query letters. The thing is that I already wrote 3 chapters a long time ago, but decided to change perspective from 3rd to 1st person. Hus is the only one I've told what the book is about, and he's not remembering! All I'll say for now is that the book is fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, young adult, but there are NO vampires, NO werewolves and NO aliens.

I had planned to get the house organized and fix any little fix-it problems needed. I did clean off the top of the kitchen cabinets but that's about it. I really wanted to sew a small torn area on our favorite chair that has stuffing poking out of it. For now I jut stare at the fluff and think, well maybe tomorrow. Maybe if Ant-One would stop jumping on it, the hole would stop growing.

What I've done mostly is sleep late, feel unmotivated most of the afternoon, then drive the kids around to their lives.

Hus said he'll miss me when I go back to work this Thursday.

I said "Oh, I'm sure you will be glad to have a break from me.."

To which he replied "Well, I meant it was nice to have you around to take the kids all the places they need to go to."

Ya, I thought so.

I'm sure if I had sex with him every night, he would miss me more, but I had no motivation for that either!

At least Ant-One will miss me and be sure to make me feel guilty about working too.

Kid Stuff That Should Not Be Given To Kids

2010-11-02T19:00:00.000-05:00

*Board games*
Starts off like regular enjoyable family fun, but quickly turns into a crying, tantrum, sore loser, let's throw fake money all over the house type of fun.

*Books*
Yes, that's books. First you have to read to the children, over and over and over, then when they can read, you have to listen to them read to you, over and over and over...

*Water guns*
These are only fun when they are filled with booze and aimed directly into your mouth.

*Karaoke machine*
Unless the parents can carry a tune, chances are the kids won't be able to either.

*Glitter*
Obvious, right? I love glitter, but I only use it when I am annoyed with Hus because he absolutely hates glitter!

*Anything made out of cheap plastic*

Fun times for about 3 seconds until the toy breaks-see *Boardgames*

*Bicycles*
Cuz they will cry and scream until you take the training wheels off, then cry and scream until you put them back on.

What is the worse toy you can think of?

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-29T11:53:00.004-05:00

I don't think she wanted to.

Well, she's 18 years old, she can do what she wants.

She love's it when I talk to her in my special "cat voice".

Such a Nice Italian Family

2010-10-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

"Such a nice Italian family!" The Sensei said to me and Ant-One, my 7yo son, at Karate class.

"Um" cough, flush "Thanks" I replied.

I explained to the Sensei that, while Ant-One is part Italian, I don't know what I am. She shook her head and said "Oh, I can tell."

Being that my son has dark brown hair and eyes and another nick-name, besides Ant-One, that sounds very Italian, and he is at least 1/8 Italian, I can understand why she would assume that. However, I've never been told I look Italian, only Puerto Rican (when I was little) and American (heh heh) now.

I would love find out I was really Italian, or Puerto Rican or any other nationality, rather than the alien from another planet, I think I am.

Because I obsess about these superficial external traits in myself and my family, I'll share with you. I also obsess about personality traits too, but don't want you to have to read a book right now.

This is a photo of my mother in law Sylvia, when she graduated from High School. She is half Italian and half English. If you shorten the hair and slightly narrow the bridge of the nose, that is my son. Every feature, the strong chin, round dark brown eyes (Hus's eyes are the same shape but dark Hazel/Brown color) and well, those lips (Hus has those too!) it's uncanny.

My 12yo daughter Snemma has the same shape eyes, except hers are olive green. Snemma wishes she had those lips, but her lips are even more fascinating to me because they are unlike mine or any of Hus's family's lips. Ya, at Christmas, I stare at his family members lips/eyes, don't worry, they just think I'm paying attention to what they're saying, which is usually something about someone I never heard of.

All put together, Snemma looks very much like me, but her individual parts are different. It's still nice to see me in her, whether she likes it or not!

Snemma's lips are so pretty, shaped like a perfect heart in the middle from her cupids bow to her lower lip and the way they thin out toward the corners. I found this pic of the actress Clara Bow from the 1920's and seriously, Snemma has these lips. Maybe Clara is a long long very lost distant great grandma? Just kidding.

I also wonder who Snemma got her wonderful butt from. I'll have to keep an eye out at Christmas.

I'm Back!

2010-10-23T14:59:00.003-05:00

I would like to thank the 5-7 visitors that came everyday while I was gone. Thank you.

I've been gone a lot longer than I had planned. It seemed like I just had no time to blog, mostly spending my days driving my kids around or entertaining them. But truthfully, I think I was feeling guilty spending so much time blogging and not enough with the family. However, when I didn't have blogging, I still found myself spending as much time on the computer, only for much less worthy (useless) causes, like Facebook. Ugh.

Enough though, I missed you all and can't wait to start reading the over 400 posts I missed. It might take me a while.

I can't type much here yet as I am still recovering from the Carpal Tunnel Surgery I had on October 1st. I'm not sure if it's normal that it still hurts like a mo-fo at times but if any of you have any extra pain medicine lying around...

The weather has been great here in Vermont, it's like I'm not even living in Vermont! It's like I moved to a warmer state, like Massachusetts! I called my mechanic to have him order studded snow tires for my car and he laughed at me and said "don't jinx us".
It snowed 2 days later. Just a little.

Reluctant

2010-07-01T21:29:00.002-05:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I am taking a break from blogging. I haven't been able to find the time to even write short posts and of course less time to comment on your blogs. I've been spending most of my daytime hours driving the kids around, going to the gym and working. At night, I'm too tired to do much besides Tweet or FB occasionally, or read a few pages of a book.
I miss you all and I miss writing my blog and I still think of posts all the time.

Hopefully, I'll resume blogging when the kids go back to school, maybe sooner.

Thanks for the emails wondering where I am.

Have a great summer.

Saturday Sounds 23 or Breaking Up

2010-05-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

My 12yo daughter, E, has a boyfriend. He's someone she has liked for a while and they have been "going out" for 3 weeks now. Her Face Book profile picture is a photo of them holding hands as they walk away from the camera. Very cute. They spend a lot of time texting each other and she had her first slow dance with him. I would like to tell more, but E has asked me not to, and she doesn't want me to post her FB picture. Darn. I would love to gossip more about her love life!

Hus thought that I should be more worried about this relationship. When I asked what he meant by that, he told me he was worried about what will happen when it ends. I told him that he was right in worrying, and I'll have to make sure she has a lot of sad songs to listen to while she cries.

I remember listening to the same sappy, pathetic love songs over and over and over, while I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Until my eyes were swollen shut, my nose plugged and my cheeks sticky and rashy. Some songs I played thousands of times (I had a lot of break-ups) like Barry Manilows "Weekend in New England", Bonnie Tylers "Total Eclipse of the Heart", and this song, which by the way came out when I was around 4yo, but I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 10. Weird. I had the 45 record. I still get all gulpy in my throat when I hear it, but I can't cry, because while crying was therapeutic when I was young, it now just gives me a headache.

What songs did/do you cry too when you're sad?

Sorry I haven't been around to visit much lately, I've been tired and actually kind of depressed, damn it! I'm trying hard to snap out of it.

The Mask of Unemployment

2010-05-18T11:00:00.000-05:00

I came home from the gym and grocery shopping and found this...

my husband.

Through my car window, I called out "Hey, d'you lose your goat, fella?".

At least that is a non-alcoholic beverage in his hand. And to his defense, he was working out in the yard, mowing and gardening, making my world beautiful, as always.

Hus was laid off last Friday. Hopefully it's just temporary, maybe just for a few weeks. His boss is so nice he laid off my husband, who has a family and bills, instead of laying off his other worker, a young man without a wife or kids, who actually wanted to be laid off! It's all about the money. Hus is not the type to sit around, except at the end of the day when he falls asleep on the couch. He's been keeping busy gardening, finishing a deck, doing housework and helping with the kids. Of course he already did these things, but now he can maybe enjoy them more.

Hus did give me permission to post this picture, by the way. He just didn't want his face in the photo. Too bad, I thought his face was the best part!

12 Year Old Girls

2010-05-08T19:45:00.003-05:00

I started to draft a post entitled "Morbid Thoughts" tonight, but because I keep getting interrupted by 12 year old girls, I just couldn't get into such a serious topic. The topic, in case you were wondering is women, particularly mothers,who are in a persistant vegetative state. Have an opinion? Save it for when I finish and publish that post!

I'm sitting right now in a hotel room which adjoins with my daughter and her friends room. I rented the rooms for E's 12 birthday. As we live out in the boonies, and our house is small, there is little choice in birthday party ideas. We've done movies, roller skating and sleepovers at home (Hus has no patience for a house full of loud giggly girls). This year E wanted more than just a couple friends over and she wanted to have an overnight party.

There is a water park hotel about 45 minutes away but it costs more than double what these two rooms together costs. And do you think I want to be in the same room with these crazy girls? No way. There is a pool here and actually a large number of girls there age staying at the hotel tonight. E was hoping for "cute boys" but since, as of Thursday, she is going out with a boy she has liked for a while, she no longer cares (thank goodness), about that.

The girls seem to be having a lot of fun. They are loud and silly talking about boys, periods, and even asked me if I knew what a "quief" was. They were surprised that I knew, but that I had always called it a "quiff". I guess we will have to check my favorite dictionary the Urban Dictionary. Well, according to them, it can be spelled both ways but a quiff is more popularly known as a hairstyle from the "50's"!

Okay, I've been interrupted again. We are off to go eat. Sorry I didn't have any time to correct grammatical errors with a second draft. As if you could notice the difference from previous my posts!

It's A Jungle Out There!

2010-04-26T09:30:00.000-05:00

I've been MIA from the Blogosphere for a couple weeks or so and I really missed you guys. I think the Requip I started to take was causing me to be depressed and lonely without my noticing until I stopped taking it. I stopped because it wasn't doing the job it was supposed to, which was to help me sleep. Instead it was taking me more time to fall asleep, then I was sleeping lighter and waking up more often, if that's possible.

It's really no wonder that I have trouble sleeping around here. My sleep schedule is unusual to begin with being that I work second shift. On an average night I am awakened several times from various noises. I am awakened even with my sleeping pill and while wearing ear plugs. T, my 6yo son and E, my 11yo daughter both talk in their sleep. They also occasionally walk in their sleep. E more than T.

The cat's also wake me up several times during the night. Summer, the youngest, if not outside all night, will just walk up and down the hall meowing at each bedroom door. Cokee, our lovely 17yo Siamese cat will come and go from our bed as she pleases and feels the need to loudly announce herself each time she climbs onto the bed and insists she sleep UNDER the covers with ME! Arthur, our middle boy will decide it's time to torture the other cats,usually around 3AM.

The Hus gets up at 5AM which wakes me up, again. Not great because I would have most likely gone to bed at 2 if I didn't work and 3 if I did.

Then I have to get up out of bed for 7AM to help the kids get on the bus. I go back to bed at 8 and sleep, no wonder, until I barely have time to do anything before the kids get home or I go to work.

My morning sleep is, for the most part, my best sleep. Lately however, this sleep time has been unkindly interrupted too. And it always seems to happen at around 9AM, when I am in a deep sleep.

First I was awakened by a "CAW CAW CAW!!!". I opened the shade and of course saw a crow which I yelled at to shut up and go away.

A few days later, I opened the shade again because I heard what I thought was my cat on the screen. AAHWHWHWHWHGG! (this is not the actual squirrel, as I don't sleep with a camera)

Then a few days later, I heard a loud "HeeQUACK HEEQUACK HEEQUACK!" and I thought "What the FUCK, is there a G-DAMN duck out there now?!!". I opened the shade and found a Guinea Hen, much like the one in this picture, staring up at me and yelling. He/she(?) had traveled from my neighbors, about a tenth of a mile, across the road and through a small wooded area to get to my house and to my bedroom window. FUCKER! I'm going to have to report this trespass to my neighbor.

Hope you all get a good night sleep.

Miscellaneous Manure 12

2010-04-14T20:00:00.001-05:00

*I've been taking Requip for a week now. I'm not sure if it's working or not. It seems that I have more trouble falling asleep initially,but then wake up more refreshed. I might also be sleeping better because of my exercising too. I'll give the med another week or two and see what happens. So far I haven't experienced any side effects. I'm just waiting to be visited by someone who isn't really here and I hope it's someone good.

*T started baseball tonight and all the helmets were too small for his head! He does have a big head.

*I joined the local gym four weeks ago. They were offering a 16 week weight loss special and because I must have been on drugs or something, I did it. So far I actually don't mind it. The gym is not a fancy hoity toity, skinny bitches wearing spandex, type gym. But more of a local, muscle dude, old lady and mommy wearing daddy's T-shirt, dirty punching bag hanging in back room (can't wait to try that!), type gym.

There are also fun signs located around the gym, for example:

"Squat till you puke!"

"Rack the weights! I wouldn't want to have to get your grandmother to do it."

There are also signs on each weight machine to tell an ignoramus like me, what they are.

*Do you Tweet? For those of you who don't, those that don't follow me, and those that don't know what Tweeting is, the following are some of my own favorite Tweets.

~I don't ever want to murder anyone, but if you taste almonds in my home made cookies, I've changed my mind.

~I don't agree with the "Family Table" commercials. We always eat together and our kids are still little assholes.

~6yo son told me "when I grow up, I want to be a writer and a draw-er, I'll be the next Dr. Seuss"

~Why is it I always feel guilty asking someone to return something they borrowed from me?

Thanks Suzy for Re-Tweeting!

*I've had some silly dreams lately. In one I was at the supermarket and a stranger kept trying to get me to buy a cantaloupe from him. The next day I was at the supermarket and the first thing I noticed was that the cantaloupes were on sale, so I bought one. Weird.

In another dream, Hus and I were traveling in Africa and we were helping out natives, living on a farm there and then we were trapped in flood waters until I woke up. Weird.

I also have dreams weekly where I am late for work, like hours late, or I'm at work but can't find my patients. Once I couldn't find my shoes, so I had to run across a field to the shoe store to buy some. Another time I showed up at work wearing a dress uniform. Weird.

Pathological Gambling, Impulsive Behaviors, Increased Libido...

2010-04-07T20:00:00.001-05:00

Binge eating, hallucinations, and (Hus's favorite) hyper sexuality are just some of the potential side effects from a medication I'm going to start taking. The results came back from my sleep study-I have mild to normal sleep apnea, which isn't bad enough to qualify for a sleep apnea machine. I also have Restless Leg Syndrome, which could be the reason I'm not sleeping well at night and feeling unrested after a long nights sleep.

The med my doc wants me to try is Requip for the RLS and while normal medication side effects like nausea, vomiting, allergic reactions etc., don't worry me, the above ones I mentioned, sort of do. The med has been ready for me at the pharmacy for over a week and I still haven't picked it up. Then today, because I overslept and still felt too tired to get out of bed, I decided I'm going to get it this afternoon and start it tonight.

I told Hus to watch me for side effects. For example, if I start coming home with scratch off lottery tickets, which I never do, or start talking to people who aren't there, hardly ever do, or take up binge eating again, he needs to tell me so I can stop taking the med! I doubt he'll tell me if I suddenly have hyper sexuality. Heh Heh, he is a man after all!

Wish me luck with my new med. Hope I don't go crazy!

Not a particularly flattering picture of me sleeping. Do you love my Mr. Magoo pillow case and all the red white and blue. I'm thinking 1976?

Nighty night!

And The Winner Is...

2010-04-02T12:05:00.003-05:00

Yay! Congratulations to Joanna from wisdom within, ink ! I randomly picked her name out of T's Indiana Jones hat and bizarrely enough, I picked the only other Vermont blogger, and someone I know in real life. I can also say that it's a lot my fault that Joanna started blogging in the first place. She's a wonderful writer and also a certified Journal Writer Instructor (sorry if I got the title wrong Joanna). So go on over and visit her lovely blog and congratulate her.

And Joanna, send me your address via email and I'll get it to Stef. I know you will love the book.
The rest of you must either buy the book, so Stef can continue to help support her three children, or get it from the library. You can also read excerpts from in on Stef's blog.

Thanks everyone who commented and especially thanks to those who became followers. I'll follow in return.

A Secret Revealed and a Giveaway!

2010-03-25T00:00:00.002-05:00

I've mentioned here several times before, that one of my BFF's in High School was Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. I still consider her a friend today, even though it's been several years since I've seen her. When we have had a chance to talk on the phone in the past couple years, we still manage to talk for hours. I guess sometimes the important, meaningful bonds people make in their lives don't just go away.

I met Stef one afternoon in High School, when we were both serving after school detention. I was sitting behind her and she turned around and asked me something funny like "What ya in for?" I was taken by surprise that this really pretty girl was talking to me. I was going through one of those periods when all my "friends" had turned their backs on me for something silly/stupid (kissed a boy at a keg party,and this boy, unbeknownst to me, was supposedly going to ask out someone better than me from my clique) (little bitches!)and wasn't very trusting of anyone at school. But Stef seemed sincere, so I laughed and answered her.

She saved me from being friendless and we had many fun times over the next several years. After Stef graduated High School and after I dropped out, we moved to California together. She had always planned on returning there and I just wanted to get away from my dysfunctional home life.

Stef has had three books published and a fourth not yet released. The secret I'm sharing today is that I am in her third book It's Not Me, It's You... ! In fact, I'm in the first four chapters! In the book she openly shares stories from her life and I'm in the parts of the book about when we moved to L.A. together. I think I'm one of the "It's You" she's referring to. Heh, heh. I loved all of her books, especially the parts I'm in of course, and I laughed out loud over and over again.

In the book she calls me Beth Moskowitz. She originally wanted to call me "Wendy" but since I always wanted the name Beth, she changed it for me. I'm even mentioned in the NY Times review of the book as "the roommate". If you click on the title link above, it will bring you to Amazon where you can read excerpts from the book. Just search 'Beth' and there I'll be!

Now for the contest. Stef has offered to send one of my readers a signed copy of her third book. All you have to do, if you want a chance to win a copy, (and learn some dish about me and Stef) is leave a comment for this post. I'll leave it open until April 2nd and then I'll have the kids pick a name randomly out of a hat or something, and I'll post who the winner is.

************************************************************************************
Stef on our road trip to California. We drove in style!

Me on the way to Cali!
Okay, not really her car.

Me after living in Hollyweird a while. I took rebellious to the max, while Stef tried to actually do something with her life. We both did a good job. I actually shaved the sides of my head every Friday night before going out to see local punk bands play. In this photo, my hair has been growing out for over a week.

Here we are a few years after I had moved back to Mass from Cali. I came to visit her in LA and we took a road trip to Las Vegas. Don't you love our big hair.

Good luck!

Kiss Me, I Might Be Irish

2010-03-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it's now been over a year since I hired the private investigator's to find my biological family and still nothing. I emailed the PI every few months over the last year and each time she emailed me back not to give up. That they had leads but nothing concrete, yet. I emailed them last week and asked if it was time for me to give up and I haven't gotten a response back yet.

I don't think about it everyday but I know it's always lurking somewhere in my subconscious mind. I felt it creep to the surface yesterday when I was at the ear doctors office filling out forms, and of course the section was there which asked for my family history. For a second I thought perhaps I could just tell them Hus's history, I mean, he is my closest family. I paused when I came to that part, and tried to to ignore the heaviness that crept into my chest. It's not like I would cry at the doctors office, but I could have. Obviously that means it still bothers me.

Recently I've been working with my doctor to find reasons why I've been so tired and unmotivated for the last year or so. Bad work and sleep schedule? Seasonal Affective Depressive Disorder? Peri menopause? Depression? She also brought up my adoption search and that it's around the time I hired them that my mood and energy started to decline. She thinks that because hiring them was a last resort and having them fail to find any answers, I've lost hope.

I've always had hope. But is it realistic, should I just accept that I won't ever know? If I had the energy, I would take myself to see a shrink, I still might. Maybe then I could just get on with my life. There really aren't that many options left for me. I will try writing letters to TV shows, but long shot's there I'm sure. I did apply to The Locator and never heard anything.

Anyways, Irish or not, here are this years Leprechaun trap's. T, my 6yo and I each made one. E, my 11yo was too old or too cool. Of course tonight when we set them out, she asked if she was still going to get something from the leprechaun, ya know, candy. HA! Not too cool for candy I guess.

T's Trap, complete with spun gold to entice the little Leprechauns.

My trap, sure to attract female Leprechauns with the idea of getting a spun gold make-over.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Miscellaneous Manure 11

2010-03-10T21:00:00.002-05:00

1. Bad Boy, Bad Boy, What Ya Gonna Do, What Ya Gonna Do When Mama Comes For You?

Our boy Summer has turned into a little bit of a bad boy. He disappears for entire nights, coming home dirty, dusty and sometimes scratched up a bit too. The first time he was gone over night, Hus and I thought he was a goner. There are Coyotes, Foxes and Bobcats around who would find him quite yummy.

After Summer was gone for over 18 hours, Hus looked at me with watery eyes and said,
"I hope he didn't suffer."
Summer came home around an hour later. Now we don't worry anymore.

A few times when I was driving home from work at around 1AM, I caught him more than a half mile away, hanging around with some hoodlum barn cats. Another time he was about a quarter mile from home and when I saw him, I called to him through an open car window; He ran alongside my car all the way home.

Summer also decided to make his own cat door for himself. Now, he can get in between the screen door and wood door and wait for someone to find him!

I don't know how he fits into the small space between doors. He is not a little thing.

2. Houses For Rent; Move In Ready!

Each year Hus adds more bird houses to our collection. Some of them we made, others he finds here or there.

Old Favorites

New Additions

Yes, that is a roasting pan. I did ask him if it was my grandmothers, but he says this one he found at the dump and changed it to a house.

I wonder who will move in?

Saturday Sounds 22 or Wop Wop Wop

2010-03-06T23:59:00.000-05:00

I was planning on writing a little bit about how much I love '50's and '60's music, and how whenever I hear a song like this one, I can't help but dance, but I'm too tired. That's really all I wanted to say anyway. Oh, and this song has been in my head all day! So, go on and dance...

Sleep Study

2010-03-03T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm spending the night, tonight, at the hospital for a sleep study. Not the hospital where I work. I have a personal policy that co-workers are not allowed to see any part of my naked body. I think that for the sleep study I can wear my own jammies, but the tech will have to attach some leads to my chest which may reveal some boobage.

Some preparations I've done for my overnight stay.

>Showered.
>Shaved.
>Trimmed my toenails and polished them- I think a wire needs to be attached to my ankle to check for restless leg syndrome. I wouldn't want to scare the tech with my 'winter toes'.
>Washed my new jammies.
>Typed a list of my meds.
>Checked for extra new facial hairs-leads need to be attached to my head and chin.
>Changed my pillow case-I don't have to use the hospital plastic pillows.
>Packed my extras along with usual overnight stuff, for example: Left hand carpal tunnel brace, tissues, can of Fresca, couple fig newtons (can't not have my bed time snacks!) two books, paper and pencil. I'll pack my laptop later so I can Tweet.

If you're thinking what a weirdo I am, imagine what my Hus thinks living with me. He's already had a good laugh about the extras I've packed.

"Are you going to pack your wrist splints?" He asked, waving his hands around like a monkey.
"Bite me!"
"Are you going to tuck tissues under your pillow?"
"Bite me!"
"The back scratcher?"
"Bite me!"
" Why don't you bring the cats too."
"Maybe I should, oh, and BITE ME!" Of course, I was laughing at myself by now. If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will anyways.

I'm going to try and stay away from caffeine after noon and gassy foods. I mean, snoring and drooling will be bad enough, I don't want to fart all night. I hope the recording is shut off when I am in the bathroom.

The reason I'm having this sleep study is because of fatigue. All you have to do to qualify, according to my insurance company, is to snore and be tired. If there is something wrong with my sleeping, hopefully I can be treated for it. And with more sleep, I'll have more energy and be able to exercise and maybe even lose a few pounds.

I'm afraid I'll sleep well at the hospital, even with all the wires attached to me because I won't have all the usual things to keep me awake. Maybe I should bring the cats-Cokee always has to sleep with me under the covers, the kids-when they talk in their sleep, I wake up. Oh and Hus because when he rolls over or breaths too loudly, I wake up. I wake up even with ear plugs and Lunesta!

As a side note: I put two new links on my side bar. One is to the short story I have in Reflections on Doctors. That link will take you to Amazon where you can read some of my story. I don't get paid if you buy the book, but there are some interesting nursing stories in it.My story is Laughing Too Hard To Care.
The second new link is at the top, for a new free E Book where one of my previous posts is included. It's free to download and has links to several funny blogs.

Saturday Sounds 21 or The Best Concert Ever!

2010-02-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

With all of the teen angst, depression, loneliness, and rebelliousness I felt in my teens, it was a natural progression for my taste in music to get more and more away from mainstream. Punk rock and Death Rock (Goth), will always be my favorite type of music. There's nothing like jumping up and down, body slamming to hard core punk or to be soo mellow and calm, perhaps even a little introspective, while listening to Death Rock music.

The Cure is my favorite alternative band of all time. I saw them perform in 1987 at, I think, what used to be called, Irvine Meadows in California. A bunch of us, including Stef, decided to go to the concert but nobody had tickets. We figured we could buy some from people scalping when we got there. When we arrived, we immediately were able to buy one ticket. Score! Then one of us noticed a bunch of people walking towards and into a wooded area. Where the hell were they going? So of course we followed. Through the woods, across a small stream and over a chain link fence, which ripped my pretty black lace dress-though my monkey boots survived unharmed, right into the general admission lawn area! We were far away, but the band performed perfectly and the sound was great. To this day, I have never seen so much black eyeliner in one place. I didn't see one man or woman there, not wearing it.

The first vid is the band, live, singing my all time favorite song The Drowning Man. It's from their album Faith, which is their most depressing, dark sounding album. Around the time they were writing and recording songs, each band member had someone they know die. They also started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. When I listen, I want to experiment too, or just spin around and around, losing myself in misery!

The second vid is an official one for my favorite fast Cure song Hot Hot Hot. When I listen to this song, I must get up and dance. Now, go ahead and wallow in misery then get over it, and dance.

Birthday Bitching

2010-02-24T00:00:00.009-05:00

It's my birthday today. 42. I don't really care about the number, but I do care about how I feel at 42. Lately, not so good. Tired, forgetful, deaf, fat. I've been working with my doctor to try and figure out WTF is wrong with me, if anything. I had some blood work to check my thyroid etc. and the only thing that came out abnormal was my cholesterol. High of course. So that ruled out Hypothyroidism, damn it. My numbers were closer to HypERthyroidism, which should mean I would be thin and overly energetic, damn it.

I'm going to have a sleep study done to find out if I have apnea or Restless Leg Syndrome or any other thing keeping me awake at night. Even if I get enough hours of sleep, I wake up several times during the night and wake up tired and "foggy". The most bothersome symptoms are the fatigue and what I call "Brain Fog". These could be from lack of sleep or side-effects of Peri-Menopause-which I do know I've started. Damn it.

I have gained a lot of weight over the last 10 years. I really want to exercise and eat better but I am just too tired to care enough. I've started increasing my vitamin intake but that doesn't seem to help. The other day I tried taking a caffeine pill and guess what? Still tired. Damn it.

Maybe I just need a really long nap, like until Spring.

Me, 40 years ago, still the same attitude as today...

20 Years ago, looking skinny in horizontal stripes...

Another of me 2o years ago, because 22 was good year for me...(Hus hates this photo of me;The big hair scares him!)

And me today...

The side effects of peri-menopause suck. Weight gain, unwanted facial hair, irritability have lead me to a life of crime...Do you think I'll be able to take a nap in prison?

Happy Fucking Birthday to Me!

#10 Certified Balloon Specialist

2010-02-12T23:59:00.005-05:00

I had 80 hours of training to become a Certified Balloon Specialist. It seriously started out as fun as it sounds. A small group of young people, myself 18 or so, in a classroom type situation, learning everything there was to know about balloons. From the different types of balloons to the various balloon bouquets that can be made, we learned it all. At the end of the two weeks we had to re-demonstrate to the owners that we could make a decent bouquet and various other balloon designs, like how to put several mini balloons inside a large clear one. For the life of me I can't recall how to do that.

After I became certified, I helped set up and then worked in a small corner booth in a large miscellaneous gift store Aahs! in West Hollywood. I worked all day selling balloon bouquets and individual balloons. I enjoyed the job, I mean what's not to like? I made pretty bouquets all day and sold them to lots of mostly boring people.

Of course being that I was in L.A. I did sell a few to famous people. A couple lovely soap opera actresses, whose names escape me, Phil Collins, well his wife, and Adam Ant to name a few.

An interesting side note: Back in the early '80's, before I moved to California, I went to an
Adam Ant concert with my high school friends Stefanie and M. We were actually there to see
The Romantics "you're one in a million, baby you're the one..."
As soon as Adam Ant started singing that changed for me. Believe it or not, and as ridiculously embarrassing as this is to admit, he rocked! A little secret about me, well not going to be a secret anymore, is that during that concert, I learned what general admission, concert induced, , anonymous, dry humping is.(well, I did look behind me to make sure he was cute!) What fun! I know, your thinking, wow, she was such a bad bad...no my husband doesn't read my blog...but he does know what the dry hump phenomena is... actually has done it or heard of it... there are no secrets at our house! Heh heh. In the end I think Stef and M "saved me" from spending too much time with this stranger and from taking off my clothes in public. Always looking out for me they were.

Back to the job. I worked selling balloons for a couple months before I got fired. There were a few reasons my employer could have picked to fire me. One, I was using the merchandise on my break. I enjoyed writing short poems or letters, inserting them into a helium filled latex balloon and sending them off to some unknown destination (soul mate), hopefully not the ocean where a dolphin might choke on it, on my lunch break.

I was rude occasionally to customers. I still didn't have any patience yet.

I did something behind the counter that I wasn't supposed to. It was something that involved a rolled up dollar bill and a mirror.(Might explain some of my irritability and impatience.)

What ended up being the actual reason I was fired, was because I was almost always late to work.I didn't have a car and could not always catch the bus on time.

I'm still more of a late person than an on time person and I'm almost never early.

I was told once by a shrink...

Late=Avoidance
Early=Anxious
On Time=Obsessive

What's your diagnosis?

Milkaholic

2010-02-08T12:00:00.001-05:00

Normally I find these talking baby commercials creepy, but I laughed out loud at the ending of this one.
During the SB Hus would yell out "COMMERCIAL!" every time the commercials started throughout the game. He's so sweet. He knew he was the only one here actually watching the game and he didn't want us to miss any ads.

#2 Waitress and #4 Phone Sex Operator

2010-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

21 Jobs in 10 Years Continued...(changed it from 20 to 21 because I forgot about my copy job- "Heidi makin copies...")

#2 Bob's Big Boy Waitress

Being that I was a teenager when I had this job, and not yet taking Lexapro for anger management, waitressing was not a good idea for me. I worked at Bob's for only a few weeks. The first week I thought it was fun with decent money, delicious Big Boy cheeseburgers, fries and chocolate cream pie for dinner, what could be bad? And nope, didn't gain an ounce back then. Now I would gain 5 pounds just looking at chocolate cream pie.

Back then and still today, I sometimes have a problem not pointing out to people when they are being rude. Of course, now as a nurse, and not in a position to allow myself to be fired, I know how to do this tactfully and with respect for the rude persons feelings. Then I just go and bitch about them behind their back.

One night I had a woman who sent back her spaghetti three times. "Too cold" "Too dry" and finally "Just give it to me to go". Seriously busy, and not in the mood, I proceeded to pack up her spaghetti in a take-out container then gave it to her. She left me no tip.

After the woman left,my boss called me over.
"That woman complained about you."she told me.
"Really, why?" I asked.
"You packed her spaghetti in a paper bag."
"Yes, yes I did."

#4 Phone Sex Operator

Back in the '80's, when I lived in California for a short time after dropping out of High School, Temp agencies were a popular and easy way to find employment. I found a few jobs this way including the "copy person" and "phone sex operator".

I was told this was going to be just a regular office-answering phone-type of job. When I got to the office, the manager brought me to a small room which contained a desk, comfy chair and a telephone. On the desk was a typed script of what I was supposed to say when I answered the phone. I quickly, after one call, heh heh, figured out that the job was for a "Swingers" service. The service supposedly was to set swingers up with other swingers for dates. I did my best to follow the script, but the men calling were going off track with questions like "can you go on a date with me?" and "what are you wearing now?" I kept having to cover the mouthpiece of the phone so I could ask the manager what to say. He told me to just "go with it" but that I didn't have to really date these men, but I didn't have to tell the men that either. I couldn't stop imagining these callers as being really really greasy, sleazeballs.Ewe.

Eventually the manager took me around for a tour of the rest of the office. It turned out that the cozy, clean room I was in was just used for orientation/training purposes. The real work took place in a bigger room lined with folding tables at which women sat close together and answered the phones. Ewe.

I'm not a prude and porn and phone sex is-A Okay, but watching those women and girls, me only 18, gave me the willies.

Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

Next #10 Certified Balloon Specialist and #8 Envelope Addressing Person.

I Smell Good and Not Like Pot

2010-01-13T12:42:00.004-05:00

And other random things about me.

*I smell good. Once I was told I smell "Delicious". I was scared my aunt might bite me after she said that. Another time I was told that E's girlfriend, when shopping in a department store, announced "Hey, this store smells like E's mom." I guess that's better than smelling like a liquor store or McDonald's. A co-worker recently said to me "I bet you don't even know how good you smell." If you want to know how I smell, go to a department store and ask to smell Ralph Laurens 'Blue'. To me it kind of smells like a female version of Polo. Oh, Hus likes it too. But he wouldn't care if I rolled around in manure, he would still have sex with me.(although, not on the kitchen floor!)

*In 11Th grade, I smoked more pot than Cheech and Chong did in Up In Smoke.Morning, noon and night I smoked. Which translates to before, during and after school. While I had a lot of fun with my friends during school, obviously I failed academically. It's a long story which lead me to the point of finally giving up on coping with the social pressures of High School in a healthy way,but that's how I dealt. Smoking, laughing, listening to music, hanging with friends and doing my best to avoid enemies and depression, was my 11Th grade. Even though I have three college degrees,graduating with honors each time, I still sometimes feel inadequate only having a GED and not a real High School diploma. So stay in school! Hahaha, my first PSA!

*I get angry when bloggers just up and disappear without even a short goodbye. I know that bloggers come and go, and that's okay. I just think that if you are not dead, or going through something major that keeps you from your computer, it is RUDE to not let your readers know you are leaving. I get that some people have to stop blogging or wish to be anonymous. But why not let your readers know. It especially pisses me off when I spend time worrying that something horrible might have happened to this person, only to find out they have started another blog and have only notified some of their readers. I've found three bloggers that "disappeared" this way. I understand that you want to start over, and I don't expect you to tell all your readers your new site address, but at least you could say goodbye! Answering emails would be nice too. For me, angry=hurt feelings. I guess I'm just too sensitive.

On a different note. My long time bloggy friend Shelly reminded me that tomorrow, Thursday, January 14th is Delurker Day. So if you are here reading, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear from you!

Sex on the Kitchen Floor

2010-01-04T12:00:00.002-05:00

And other pieces of conversations between Hus and I...

Me: Wow our first night alone at home without the kids! Should we have sex on the kitchen floor?

Hus: Why would we do that? We have a bed.

Me: How about we just watch TV? Maybe something other than the Nickelodeon channel.

Perfect Storm

Me: I am just sooo sick of driving in this snowy icy slippery crap. I want to move to a warmer place, you with me?

Hus: No. And you're an excellent driver in the snow. You should be an Ice Road Trucker. It's like your just waiting for the perfect storm.

Me: Didn't they all die in The Perfect Storm?

No Life

Me: I really want to see Avatar, it looks like a movie made just for me. It's got romance, sci-fi, and it took four years to make it.

Hus: It will take you longer to see it.

Healthy Eating

Me: I didn't eat butter until I met you. I was raised on low fat margarine.

Hus: Well, there's some 'I Can't Believe I Bought This Butter' in the fridge.

The Governor

Hus: I saw the governor today.

Me: You saw Arnold?! (OK, I watch too much west coast TV)

Don't Be a Jerk, It's Christmas

2009-12-25T00:00:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Miscellaneous Manure 10

2009-12-22T13:03:00.003-05:00

I was nearly hit by a car in the parking lot of the grocery store today. I literally had to jump onto my cart and slide out of the way! I turned toward the driver swearing and she mouthed "I'm sorry". A witness to the almost accident told me I must "have a guardian angel". Do you believe in angels?

I've been watching The Vampire Diaries . It's not as good as the books but it's entertaining enough that I keep on watching. I've also been watching re-runs of Criminal Minds and House.

I have to read before I go to bed every night. Usually when the book falls out of my hand and hits the floor, I wake up and go to bed.

I think my bed is cursed. I never want to get in it at night and in the morning I don't want to get out.

I quit all of my games on Face book. They were taking up way too much time. It was hard because they are so stupidly addictive, but I did it.

I'm not making as many cookies and treats as I usually do this time of year. It's just so time consuming. Of course when I announced this I was told that I have to make certain things, like caramel candy for Hus and Gingerbread cookies for school... I'm not making Ginger Bread Houses this year, but I'm not going to mention this.

I finished Holiday shopping Early this year, but I haven't wrapped anything yet.

I'm thinking of applying to the Find My Family show. Have you seen it? Should I do it?

Keep warm.

Summer's Ready For Winter, But I'm Not

2009-12-18T13:14:00.012-05:00

It was minus 2 degrees outside this morning when I walked the kids to the bus stop. T complained when I made him wear a sweatshirt under his jacket because he couldn't move his arms!

I told you all about the latest addition to our family, Summer, a few months ago. He continues to be a loving a sweet kitty. You just have to look at him and he starts purring.

Here he is when he first found us. His coat is thin and dull brownish black in color. He was also really bony under his fur.

And here he is today with his magnificent shiny fluffy black winter coat.

I seriously didn't know he was going to be so furry once he became healthy and the weather changed. Don't you want to scratch that belly? It's really soft.

He also gained a lot of weight since being neutered. That's not all fur around his waist.(Ignore the carelessly tossed Ugg boot(Hanukka gift from Grandma),my daughter has left in the middle of the kitchen floor. Really taking care of them, she is.)

Summer spends a lot of time here, on my bed and has his own favorite corner on the couch.

I wish I had a fur coat like his. BURRRRRRRR!!!

I added a "follow me on Twitter" button to my side-bar if any of you Tweet. I can't figure out how to put a Facebook link there yet.

Stay warm.

Saturday Sounds 20 or This Goes Out to My Favorite 11 Year Old Girls

2009-12-06T19:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, it is not Saturday. I put the vid on this post yesterday, then E and I decided to watch other Youtube vids and well, then I got tired! I could back publish it, but then that would mean the two people reading me via their Google Reader would have possibly already deleted it. I'm soo confused.

Imagine a Mommy Van filled with five 11 year old girls and 3 mama's singing (loudly) along with this song while it played on the radio. I really didn't sing, just smiled because of all the positive pre-teen energy happening.

We were on our way home from seeing New Moon the first weekend it came to theatres. The movie was great. We all agreed that it is even better than the first movie in the Twilight series. There was much audience participation. Women and girls hooted and whistled every time one of the male lead characters took their shirt off.

"I'll run away with you Jacob!" one girl yelled.

"You can bite me Edward!" a mom yelled. I think that was one of our moms! I just had to laugh.

So on the ride back, while the others were singing to Lady Gaga, I was laughing. I love Lady Gaga. In an interview with Ellen Degeneres, Ellen compared Lady Gaga to David Bowie. To me she reminds me more of a Modern Madonna. Maybe Ellen was referring to the recent rumors about Lady Gaga possibly being a little ambiguous in the gender department, rumors denied by Lady's publicists. She could also just have been comparing the flamboyant costumes and make-up both artists wear. I think she is freaky and awesome. Oh and I did love David Bowie as a teen, and Madonna, and of course Ellen.

I really don't see any ambiguity in Lady G in this vid. She's all woman. Unless you call the Michael Jackson move she pulled (grabbing her vajayjay) ambiguous. E's the one that called it the Michael Jackson move.

I Am Crossing Over a Fine Wrinkly Line

2009-11-30T22:15:00.006-05:00

I've been feeling old lately. I've been forgetful, tired, clumsy and achy more than usual. My Carpal Tunnel is worse than ever and I am getting Zits like a teenager. I suppose it could have something to do with lack of sleep, poor diet, lack of, or non-existent exercise, besides walking 4 miles at work each shift, but I am blaming it on age instead.

I've crossed some fine wrinkly line where elderly men try to flirt/talk to me wherever I go, and I think of young men in terms of them being my son.

One day last week T asked me what was for dinner. I replied "hot dogs". It was meatballs. I quickly corrected myself, but I seem to do shit like that all the time!

I covered the dirty brownie pan with Saran wrap instead of the actual brownies. I noticed right away and fixed it.

Last week while grocery shopping I was scooping up mixed nuts to put in a plastic bag and instead poured them on the floor, missing the bag entirely!

Tonight while grocery shopping, I dropped a jar of real VT Maple Syrup and it exploded all over me, my cart and the floor. Seriously,they are not going to allow me to shop there anymore if I don't stop it!

I really think a lot of this has to do with my mind being a few steps ahead of what my mouth or hands are doing. For the most part I laugh, but I do have a doctors appointment scheduled for a check-up.Heh Heh

It could be worse; I could have fallen on my head like my friend Suzy. Go visit her and give her some love please.

Poor Suzy.

No More Verizon! Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T00:47:00.002-05:00

Yes Verizon has failed me again. My wireless device broke for the 5Th time in a year. It happened shortly after I published my last post. Today, while I should have been cooking and cleaning, I instead drove half an hour away to a Sprint store to try their newest wireless device. It was a little confusing to set up but seems to be working about as fast as the Verizon device worked. Also, what makes it even better is that it is not something that is plugged into your computer so it can be used for more than one at a time, and it costs the same per month. E is surely going to be happy with that. I will have to pay to get out of my Verizon contract, but it won't be as much as if I have to start paying for replacement devices after January. So once again I say Verizon Sucks!

I hope everyone has a great holiday or just a great day tomorrow. This years TG drinking word is "Cool". As in every time grandma says "Cool" we drink. Grandma's on a "Cool" kick lately.

Poor grandma.

Drama Queen

2009-11-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

E, my 11 year old daughter is taking drama again. It's her third year and last week we got to see her in the first play of this year. It was a Halloween/Monster themed play and she played Vampira. As usual she did an awesome job. I am always amazed at how secure she seems up on stage. I could have never been in drama as I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too shy, pathologically shy. E, thankfully, doesn't have that problem. Where I was shy, awkward and unpopular (unless you're counting being popular because you were universally hated and picked on), she is outgoing, confident and popular. Of course she has her insecurities about herself but she doesn't let them get in her way.

One of the cast members who was supposed to play the "Bride" was ill on the night of the performance and another drama student took her place. For the first 10 minutes or so the replacement Bride did well, only having to look at the script occasionally. Then she slipped up and missed a line. At that point the other players on stage whispered and pointed at her to encourage her to speak the line. The Bride started the line and well, she must have gotten really nervous because she proceeded to pass right out on stage. And she didn't crumble lightly to the ground, she literally fell straight backwards hitting the floor with a pretty loud thump. Yikes! I scooted to the edge of my seat, ready to run on stage if needed. Fortunately one of the drama coaches is also an RN so she got there immediately and the school nurse followed a few seconds later.The Bride was okay but unable to finish the play. Because the kids wanted to go on with the play, another former drama student took on the role of the Bride.

After the play was over, several of E's friends, other actors that were back stage when the Bride fainted, rushed over to me and told me that they thought it was E who collapsed. They told me they started "crying" and "freaking out" they were so upset. Then they found out it was the Bride and they "stopped crying". Apparently The Bride is not as universally liked as much as E. In fact I've heard some of the girls in the past complain that she is somewhat mean at times and definitely not trustworthy.

E as Vampira

Attitude?

Poor Bride.

Saturday Sounds 19 or Seth Green?

2009-11-14T02:25:00.004-05:00

My dreams are always strange and vivid, sometimes seeming to have a random theme, other times they coincide with what's happening in my life while I'm awake. Last night I had a pretty wacky one.

In this dream, I was attending a party at a friends house. Not a fun party, more like a Tupperware party, only it wasn't Tupperware being sold. At this party the hostess was selling a newly invented lipstick that when applied enlarged your lips.

I was sitting on a couch and the hostess was going around the room asking who wanted to try the new lipstick. I noticed that there were both males and females in attendance. I also noticed Seth Green sitting across the room from me. In the dream I knew him as a friend. I couldn't decide if I wanted to try the lipstick or not. I always wanted fuller lips, but I was worried that there might be bad side effects.

Almost as if Seth read my mind, he stood up and walked towards me. He held out his hand, which I took into my own, and I stood up to face Seth. He looked me in the eyes and said "I have always liked your lips." I blushed, and Seth reached around me to give me a hug and while we embraced he whispered into my ear "You are tall on the inside." I thought, hey, I wrote that about myself before. Weird.

I decided to not try the lipstick. Which was a good thing in the dream because as with many of my dreams, it turned into a nightmare. At first the makeup seemed to work perfectly, every ones lips looked full and beautiful, I was regretting my decision. But then suddenly every ones lips started getting bigger and bigger and bigger until they eventually exploded! EEWE!

Okay, I have no idea why it was Seth Green in my dream. I mean I am a fan of his because I am a huge fan of Buffy, but he's not someone I think about in general. (obviously, he is not really my friend-heh heh). Perhaps it's because the following clip is shown on TV every 5 minute or so.

What does the dream mean? Is it telling me I should like myself for who I am? Short people with thin lips will be in style soon? That people, my friends like me for who I am? Whatever the meaning, aside from the exploding lips, it was a good dream.

P.S. I have a penis following me, how do I get rid of it?

Update: I figured out how to block the follower, even though...

Oh No, Not Again!

2009-11-09T14:47:00.002-05:00

Once again, for the fourth time, my Verizon Wireless device has broke! At least when I went to the store to complain, I didn't even have to yell at anyone. They told me right away that I will receive a new one in the mail in two days. So for two days I will be without Internet at my house. I'm posting now from a Vermont Welcome Centers free WI FI. However, I can't stay long because I have my cat Summer with me. We are on our way home from the Vets, where he had some routine vaccinations.
I'll miss you all!

Saturday Sounds 18 or This Song Gives Me Chills and Also Makes Me Laugh

2009-11-07T01:00:00.002-05:00

Some songs I like for the music, some for the lyrics. The music made me like this song, the lyrics made me love it.

The band is Bell X1, an Irish Alternative Rock band, the song is The Ribs of A Broken Umbrella. Bell X1 has been compared to the band The Talking Heads.While I do see the likeness in some of their songs, I don't see it here. Although, there is an obvious '80's new wave, punk, pop, influence to it.

Because I like the story told in the song, I wish the video had even just a little bit to do with the lyrics.

Lyrics...

She was only just a girl in a picture,

But he thought if I could only make her smile

Then she'd be mine

He'd folded it,

re-folded it so many times,

He'd already lost some of her to the creases

Precious pieces

He wondered how close he's ever been to her,

In this ebb and flow of the distance between us

Maybe she got the same bus

And he left a trail of string wherever he went

When he was sleepin', he tied it to his toe

If she crossed it, then he'd know

But he knew

That all was unravelling

And he was bare

Stripped of his skin

Like the ribs of a broken umbrella

Sticking out of a bin

He'd pull his collar up against the wind,

Against those who said that trying was the first step to failing

Oh he was railing

And filled with new found purpose and pride,

He'd make something of this heady glow

Now where would she go?

But what do I know

Cos all is unravelling

And he was bare

Stripped of his skin

Like the ribs of a broken umbrella

Sticking out of a bin

But he knew how to fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza

With time's great elixir, dear Liza, dear Liza

She was only just a girl in a picture,

But he thought if I could only make her smile

Then she'd be mine

Oh the thought of being faced with her

Gave him the fear and sometimes in the morning a tent

Oh lord give him strength

Cos he knew That all was unravelling

And he was bare

Stripped of his skin

Like the ribs of a broken umbrella

Sticking out of a bin

So the band has a sense of humor, for example the reference to having a tent in the morning. Did anyone else get that or am I the only perv here?

They also seem to have a fondness for children's songs "dear Liza, dear Liza"

Dana Nobis Pacem

2009-11-05T00:00:00.003-05:00

Grant Us Peace

Trick or Treat, Dry My Feet

2009-11-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

Trick or Treat was a huge amount of fun if you forget that it was raining, down pouring at times, and you were soaked through and through. 40 of us started out together, 10 turned back half way through.

Fortunately my costume adapted well to the changing weather.

Just drizzling...

Madame Hydra would love to do a Tarot card reading for you.

(Look Darsden, the hair straightening shampoo you recommended works really great!)(and no people, I don't wear my hair that big every day!, I do like the pink spray in it though)

Steady rain...

"I adore that pink, it's the navy blue of India!" (quote Diana Vreeland)

Down pour...

Donde esta mi Tequila?

(T took his Indiana Jones hat off for a bit, preferring to soak his head. I didn't let that last for long.)

I hope your Halloween was fun and dry.

Saturday Sounds 17 or Goo Goo Muck

2009-10-31T00:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween!

Blood and Gore

2009-10-27T14:18:00.012-05:00

I've been a bad blog friend lately. For the past couple of weeks I just wasn't able to find the time to blog. It wasn't like I didn't think about it everyday, I did. But between work, sleeping till noon, (I do stay up to 3am work night) and trying to be the best mother in the world by planning a much begged for Halloween party, I just didn't have it in me. I also stopped following my own advice, you know, like taking vitamins and exercising, going to bed slightly earlier bla bla bla. All that did was make me feel more tired and anti-social.

Well, I'm back and I took all my vitamins today.

We had our first kid Halloween party on Sunday. It was supposed to be on Saturday but because the road was washed away, we had to change it.

The kids and I spent a lot of time, and Hus spent a lot of money, preparing for this party. There were 8, 11-14 year old girls and 6, 6-8 year old kids.

I had activities planned for the young ones, painting pumpkins, ring toss and a walk through a haunted path in the woods. Mostly they just wanted to run around in the dark screaming.

The older girls decorated cupcakes, tried to play the Ouija Board and Bloody Mary. They also ran around in the dark screaming a lot. E has the best scream ever.

I dressed up as Madame Hydra, a Gypsy, and read Tarot cards for the older girls and did palm readings for a few of the little ones. For example "Your lifeline is very interesting, ooh, I see something very spectacular in your future and I think it has to do with you owning a lot of...monkeys!"

We had a lot of lovely bouquets around for decorations.

Of course we decorated our Fairy Garden.

My favorite witch. I made it a few years ago, while on a sewing binge.

We made shrunken apple heads. Really a pain in the ass to make and after 7 hours in the oven and three days drying they were still wet.

Hus got a little angry with me the night before the party because he is not a fan of Halloween. Don't worry, it looks like more blood than it really was.

What are you doing for Halloween?

Saturday Sounds 16 or 45's Were the Best

2009-10-17T00:00:00.002-05:00

Since as early as I can ever remembering listening to music, my taste has always been eclectic. Of course my all time favorite music will always be Alternative/Punk rock, but I also enjoy some Classic Rock, Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, New Wave, Disco, Techno, Electronica, Reggae, Hip Hop, Top 40, Oldies, Torch Songs from the '20's, classical and Big Band music. Phew! I'm sure at this late hour (1am), I am forgetting some. The only music I really can't seem to ever like is Country, Folk, Jazz or Blues, except for the Nick Cave type Alternative Blues. There are so many labels now for music, I can't keep up.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8 years old my parents gave me my own record player and radio. I listened to all kinds of music. Sappy love songs by Bread and Nilson, sweet soft rock melodies by Shawn Cassidy, classic rock songs by Blue Oyster Colt, anything I liked. Do you remember when radio stations would play the same song everyday at the same time? I would turn the radio on everyday at 7pm to listen to BOC's Don't Fear the Reaper. I think I was nine.

My best friends older sister always had the best records. She had hundreds of 45's with the best and most popular songs of the day. Songs like Seasons in the Sun, Billy Don't be a Hero, The Night Chicago Died, All by Myself, Angie Baby and on and on. I used to beg my friend to ask her sister if we could listen to her records. I liked the 45's the best. What's more perfect than being able to just buy the one song you like? Now you have to spend $20 for a CD that might only have one good song on it. I listened to Don't Give Up On Us by David Soul over and over even after it was all scratched up.

In second grade I remember (don't know why I remember this), arguing with my friend Billy over which was a better band Queen or Kiss. I thought Queen. Still do.

The song in this vid was one of my very favorite songs. I thought it was about a girl who drowned and it made me sad to listen to it. It was years later I found out it was about a dog. Hey, I was only 8!

More Life in Vermont

2009-10-09T23:56:00.006-05:00

1. Lainey-Paney mentioned in her comment on my first "Life in Vermont" post, that people in Texas have guns. This is true in Vermont too. Mostly people just have rifles or shotguns for hunting, but I do know some people who have handguns. I even know a woman who carries a handgun with her when she goes on a walk with her kids through the woods near her house. Ya, I think she is crazy, I only carry my pepper spray.

2. People out in the Boonies of Vermont can still be robbed. The house in the following photos was just burglarized last week. It happened during the day while the woman who lives in this house was away. Allegedly the thieves stole guns and prescription medications.I took these photos from my porch.

Six months ago another woman, who lives on this same road, was robbed. That time the thieves took a coin collection and prescription medications.
I now take my "good" meds with me when I leave home.

3. Some roads in Vermont change the speed limit willy-nilly every mile or so. The speed limit can be 50mph then 35mph, back up to 50mph, down to 25mph then up to 40mph,all within a few miles. Of course there are police who know this.

4. I can drive 36 miles home from work at midnight and only see one other car on the road. However, while speeding seems like the thing to do at that time, there are occasionally cops waiting to catch me or the other car!

5. Dirt roads are not just for poor people. This house is my favorite house in our town and it is located on a dirt road. New houses are also being built on dirt roads. This house is on the market for just under 2million. I think it's a bargain because it comes with a huge barn, garage with apartment, over 100 acres of land and a beautiful view. There was a new house for sale for over 2 million in my town, but it burned down in a fire.

If I win the lottery, I'm definitely going to buy this house.

6. People in Vermont can get really really, kick your ass colds, like I have had for the last 16 days! I didn't even get out of bed until 1PM a few days and even then, I didn't want to.

Poor me.

Saturday Sounds 15 or Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

2009-10-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

I've had a cold for a week. I feel like crap. I want to sleep all day and do nothing else. Of course I cannot do that. Damn, being a grown up sucks sometimes. I did take, what I called, a half of a sick day on Thursday and stayed in bed until 1PM and then sat on the couch blogging until 3PM. That was a great day.

Alka Seltzer Plus was the best cold medicine EVER! Then one day the FDA decided to take out a key ingredient, the only decongestant on the market that worked. Now everybody had to suffer, just because it occasionally caused a teensy brain hemorrhage in some people. It also was the best hangover med too by the way.

Now I have to sign my life away for a couple Sudafed.

What do you take for a cold?

Life In Vermont

2009-10-01T05:00:00.000-05:00

Some things I've learned about life in the country while living in Vermont.

1. There are people, mostly men, in Vermont who grow beards in winter and shave them off in Summer.These beards have confused me more than once. I moved here in the winter so most of my neighbors looked similar to this photo of the actor of Tom Welling. Scary if you ask me.

The WINTER Look

In the spring, I would run into the same neighbors and not have the foggiest idea who they were. Several times I would argue with Hus when he would try to convince me that the clean shaven fairly good looking man we were just talking with was our neighbor! "But that guy looked like a troll." I would protest. (below photo also of Tom Welling)

The SUMMER Look

No I don't have any neighbors as hot as Tom but since I don't find beards of any kind attractive, any clean shaven version of a person is better than the bearded one.

I met Hus in the summer and thank goodness he does not grow a beard for any reason!

2. There is no automatic trash pick up, cost covered in taxes, in Vermont. You need to either bring it to the dump yourself or pay a small fortune for a trash removal service. Or, you can do like I did in the beginning, and bring really small bags of trash to work with you and put them in the dumpster on your way in.

3. There are people who live in the boonies, like us, who have Septic Tanks. Gross.

4.Some people (my neighbor) walk their dog, cat and turkeys all at the same time.

5. If your neighbor owns a goat, sometimes it will come over for a visit and steal your child's sock. Of course it will be an accidental theft because the sock will stick to the goats beard when they smell your child's carelessly thrown on the porch shoe.

6. You can not hide in the country. My neighbors knew more about my husband before I did. My farmer neighbor noticed future Hus's red truck in my driveway when he picked me up for our first date, and before the date was over, my neighbor knew exactly who my Hus was. He knew where he came from, where he worked and whether he was an honorable man. Ha! (He was worried about me) Somehow via a crazy country neighbor grapevine, word had traveled an hour away to Killington, where my future BIL Dave, identified my future Hus to my farmer neighbors friend, who worked with Dave, just by his truck! I know, hard to follow, but true.

7. If you tell people you come from a family of pig farmers, they will believe you. Above BIL told my future FIL Chet, that I came from pig farmers. During our first meeting, Chet, with a straight face, asked me how it was coming from a family of pig farmers. I was just a little surprised and confused then noticed Dave cracking up in the corner. Dave had to explain to poor sweet Chet that it was a joke. OINK. We still laugh about that one.

Saturday Sounds 14 or He's Gone Like the Wind

2009-09-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

I wasn't a huge fan of Patrick Swayze. I really can't say why, I mean he was a good actor, dancer and pretty damn good looking. There were movies he starred in that I enjoyed but only one I thought was great. The Outsiders is my favorite Patrick Swayze movies, as a matter of fact it is one of my all time favorite movies. I've watched it several times and now that I am reminded of it I think I'll have to watch it again soon. It's a 'coming of age' movie which stars other famous actors like Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise and Matt Dillon.

One thing I noticed since Patrick Swayze died is the lack of publicity about it. We are still hearing about Michael Jackson, every waking minute. I've heard very little about Swayze. After MJ died radio stations of all types were playing his songs. Even my alternative rock station jumped on that bandwagon.

So I wanted to share this vid of Patrick Swayze performing this song which he wrote for his wife.
I'm sure you all have heard it before.

Rest In Peace Patrick Swayze

On a side note: I am writing this at 2am so hopefully it's not too grammatically incorrect!

I Have Conquered My Fear of Roller Coasters; Thank You Xanax!

2009-09-21T19:18:00.003-05:00

Well, we did it. We took the kids to Disney World in Orlando. Hus and I are not theme park type people. We would rather spend our vacation time at the ocean doing nothing except relaxing than to spend it hiking miles in the hot sun. We took this trip strictly for the kids. However, even though it was stressful and tiring, we did have fun at Disney. I'll try not to bore you with too many details in one post but spread out the boredom over a few posts.

I haven't liked roller coasters since I was a young adult. After having kids, for some reason, I suddenly became too scared to go on any amusement park rides. If I did decide to go on one with the kids, because they begged me, I would have visions of the car flying off the tracks or the swing detaching from the rigging. Rides were terrifying for me.

At Disney, because my mother was with us, I took Xanax every day, actually twice a day. I had also promised the kids that no matter how scared I was, I would go on any ride they wanted to because I could be a brave mama. Ha! Well, the first roller coaster we went on was Splash Mountain. While waiting in line, I realized I wasn't even scared. All through the ride, I didn't get scared at all. It wasn't that I didn't get a rush riding it, but I wasn't scared. Woo hoo! I went on to ride Big Thunder Railroad, Mount Everest (twice), Rockin Roller Coaster and the Tower of Terror! The only ride that I didn't enjoy was Mission Space because I felt like I was being choked while it simulated rocketing into space.

Splash Mountain

A word of advice: After getting your shorts completely soaked riding Splash Mountain, don't use the toilet seat covers, Disney so nicely provides for you in their restrooms, the paper will stick to your wet butt. This type of paper will not peel off your butt in one piece, I guess because it is meant to dissolve when wet. You will next try desperately to dry your butt with toilet paper only to end up with tiny pieces of paper stuck to your butt and then will have to use your antibacterial wipeys to wipe your butt before you put your wet shorts back on. Also don't ride Splash Mountain first because your shorts will not dry in time to prevent your legs from chafing. Just so you know.

Miscellaneous Manure Pt 9

2009-09-15T13:55:00.015-05:00

Here's the kids on the first day of school. Notice the heads hung low because of their sadness. Ha, just kidding! I had them do it because Hus still doesn't like pics of the kids faces posted on my blog. I wasn't sad either.

E spent the summer doing sit-ups twice a day, swimming and running. Now she really looks like a pre-teen.

T spent the summer talking. I mean he did stuff too, just talked the whole time.

The cat's are getting along better now. Cokee, the Siamese Princess, doesn't hiss at Summer anymore but still doesn't seem to care much about him.

This is how I ruin a perfectly sexy cute nightgown. I wear it with my kitty cat socks.

Well, my feet were cold.

Boy, my knee's look really old. (Hey that rhymes!)

I have a new favorite TV show. I bought the first season of Supernatural on DVD because the show was recommended to me by several people. So far I love it, although I have a problem watching it because I spend a lot of time just trying to figure out which brother is cuter. Who has the nicer eyes? Hair? Chin? Lips? I usually can't make up my mind.

Do you understand the difficulty I face?

I won't be around any computers for a few days but then I'll be back to visit all of you.

Poor sex symbols.

Saturday Sounds 13 or Mama Yelling

2009-09-12T19:11:00.005-05:00

Okay, I didn't really yell, just spoke loudly enough for everyone in the Verizon Wireless store to hear me complaining. I was without Internet service since Wednesday. For the second time in 9 months, my Verizon Wireless device broke. The last time it broke I got a replacement in the mail but had to pay my $50 copay for it. This time I didn't want to pay another $50 for the same piece of crap device.

I mean what the hell? I'm paying a monthly fee with a two year contract for my Internet service. I shouldn't' have to replace my device so frequently.

Well, I told the employee that very same thing while holding up said piece of crap and shaking it to demonstrate the broken pieces inside rattling around. She told me there really wasn't anything she could do and that they didn't even carry that model in the store. She told me I also couldn't upgrade my device unless I paid the full retail price or I had my service for another year!

So I threatened to just pay the penalty fee and cancel my remaining contract with Verizon. Even though it would cost me about the same as two months of service, Verizon would be losing 15 months of my money.

So, guess what? I was referred to the manager who, while turning red and grinding his teeth, because he probably wanted to tell me to go to hell, gave me a replacement device exactly like mine for FREE! It turned out they did have it in stock. Dumb salesperson.

So I asked "What should I do when it breaks again in a couple months?" Gotta look that gift horse in the mouth. Then I said thank you and left.

So I'm off to catch up on emails and blog visits. Thank you to everyone for wishing T well. He is feeling better but is unusually moody probably because of the steroids.

Poor Verizon sales people.

Pneumonia Again

2009-09-09T17:55:00.005-05:00

Poor T, my six year old son, has pneumonia again. This time they think it is Mycoplasma Pneumonia, otherwise known as "Walking Pneumonia". He started Monday night with a runny nose then woke up Tuesday with a wet cough but didn't feel feverish so he went to school. When he came home his cough was even worse and he had a low grade fever. I listened to his lungs and did hear some wheezes and other abnormal sounds. I encouraged rest and fluids and planned to take him to the doctors today, Wednesday.

He spent the night on the couch with me, coughing and having feverish nightmares. His temp was only as high as 102 and thankfully he agreed to take Ibuprofen. (last spring when he had Pneumococcal Pneumonia his fever was as high as 106!)

Today he looked a little better but his lungs still sounded bad. His temp was almost down to normal too.

The Pediatric Nurse Practitioner checked him out and gave him two nebulizer breathing treatments and because they didn't do much good, also had a chest Xray done. I wondered out loud if three chest Xrays were bad in one year for a 6 year old. The NP was more concerned that if we didn't do one and just treated him like an asthmatic with a virus with steroids and breathing treatments he might get worse. After she checked him out she had our usual doc check him out too which I thought was nice of my doc to take the time to do. But so far after three years of going to her, she is still the best doctor we've ever had.

I know better than to argue if I am told my child needs antibiotics as they are not frequently ordered anymore. On the other hand I am not sure I want him to have the steroids she prescribed. I know it will help his wheezes, but steroids, I just don' t know if he really needs them.

T was a great kid through the whole four hours at the office and I treated him to renting two movies and ice cream. Of course I got ice cream for myself too.

So, WTF, why did he get pneumonia again? I mean he does his best to wash his hands, as best as a six year old can do, when reminded.

Hope you and yours are feeling well.

Saturday Sounds 12 or Time Traveling

2009-09-05T00:00:00.002-05:00

I recently read the book The Time Traveler's Wife and I loved it. I think it is the perfect combination of romance, science fiction, drama, humor and sadness and I highly recommend reading it, no matter what your favorite type of book is.

Last week I saw the movie and while I was prepared to be disappointed by it, I was instead pleasantly surprised. Of course it wasn't as good as the book, but it was still an enjoyable film. I really didn't expect to like Eric Bana as the lead, but aside from his unfortunate profile, he's pretty hot, and well, Rachel McAdams, 'nuf said.

One of the things I liked about the book were the references to some of the '80's music I used to, and still do, listen to. I was a little disappointed that the movie didn't really use more of these references.

During one scene in the movie, the lead characters dance to a live band doing a remake of the song featured in the video I'm sharing today.

The band does a remake of a Joy Division song, one of my favorite bands from my punk rock days of the '80's. I started listening to Joy Division in the mid '80's, a few years after the lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide. They were one of my favorite "Death Rock" (or nowadays referred to as "Goth") bands. The lead singer suffered from major depression and epilepsy for most of his short life. After his death the remaining band members became the more widely known New Wave band New Order.

This song is still played on the radio.

Don't Make Eye Contact

2009-09-01T20:00:00.002-05:00

We have been adopted.

A few months ago we started receiving daily visits from a little black kitty. Not a newborn, but probably less than a year old. Every time we stepped out the door onto the porch we would hear her meowing to us from the woods. Slowly she started getting closer and closer to the house until she was living under and on our porch. She always talked to us and would try to rub up against us and purr. She also, it seemed, thought that our house was her house. I mean if these other felines could go inside, why couldn't she? She would actually sit down in front of the front door effectively blocking our other cat's from entering until we shooed her away. Normally stray cat's come and go and are too scared to come close to the house so this was very unusual.

I asked my farming neighbors if they were missing any barn cats, which they denied. So possibly some butt hole dropped Summer off nearby, it wouldn't be the first time.

Hus warned us not to acknowledge her, talk to her or especially not to feed her. So much for my sweet Cat Whisperer. You could tell that "Summer", named by my daughter, was starving. She was matted fur and bones and when I looked close I noticed she had bits of tapeworm on her. Another disturbing thing she had was a sneeze that produced green snot. Yuck.

Some other things Hus ,The Cat Whisperer said to us...

"You can't save them all, she's a stray."

"Cokee will be jealous and might run away."

"We don't want our cat's catching anything."

"He's not a handsome cat."

"I don't want to be crazy cat people."

One evening during dinner, Summer stood outside the window looking in while we ate. She meowed and meowed; She was pathetic.

Hus said "Don't make eye contact. Pretend she isn't their."

Well of course the next day I fed her. She loved the food and purred the whole time she was eating. I also combed out her matted hair and wiped her nose.

That evening, Hus and I were on the porch and Summer was lying next to our male cat Arthur when she suddenly jumped up and walked over to Hus and started yelling at him.

I looked at Hus and said "So how long have you been feeding her?"

"Couple weeks."

So that night I gave Summer tapeworm medicine, combed her matted hair again, wiped her nose and made an appointment for her at the vets.

We took her for her shots and well, surprise, Summer is a boy!

It's been a couple of weeks since the visit to the vet and Summer is now part of the family. He is worm free and hasn't sneezed in weeks. Cokee still hisses and swats at him if he gets too close. Arthur is always looking over his shoulder with a look on his face like "Why is this crazy cat following me around." I think Summer likes Arthur.

Before food, love and attention. Note the dull hair and bloated belly.

After, resting on the couch in his new home. Note the bright eyes and shiny coat.

We still don't understand how such a lovable gentle cat made it for so long on his own. We have Coyotes and Foxes around who love to eat cat's. What makes me really sad is how lonely he must have been all by himself.

Poor worms.

Saturday Sounds 11 or Voices

2009-08-29T16:43:00.005-05:00

One morning while I was still in bed half asleep, I heard my 6yo son talking to me...

T: The day after yesterday, at the lake, I swam all the way out to the boobies.
Me: Huh?
T: I swam all the way out to the boonies!
Me: Buoys?
T: Yeah.
Me: Wow,what fun, you're a great swimmer. Oh, and the day after yesterday is today.

On a different morning...

T: I woke up in the middle of the night and heard people screaming!
Me: Did you have a bad dream?
T: No, it was your TV show.

My daughter on the phone with me while she stayed four days at my mothers...

Day One
E: Grandma is a little annoying.
Day two
E: Grandma is really annoying and she never lets me talk.
Day three
E: Grandma is really annoying and she never lets me talk and she is ALWAYS right!
Day four
I called her.
Me: So, is Grandma still driving you crazy?
E: Um, mom, you're on speaker phone.

Poor Grandma

Mama's Panic Attack

2009-08-27T07:33:00.004-05:00

Sorry I haven't been around to visit lately, I've been a little stressed out. Actually I've been a lot stressed out.
For years I have had anxiety and depression, more anxiety than depression. The most troubling symptom I have is obsessive thinking. Some days I can't shut down my brain. I've tried several antidepressants and anti anxiety meds and have found that Lexapro works the best for me. Most days I can handle my thoughts and talk myself into letting them go out of my head, most days. There are certain things that trigger my anxiety, kids fighting, monthly hormones, my mother, kids fighting, lack of sleep, guilt, and did I mention kids fighting?
Well combine all those things at the same time and you have the perfect combination for me to have an anxiety attack.
Last week I had all these things together creating the perfect storm for my brain to go into overload. The kids had enough of each other, I was feeling pressure to get them ready for school, I didn't get enough sleep, my period is late which means my hormones were at an all time high,and I was feeling guilty wondering if I spent enough time playing with the kids over the summer. I particularly was feeling guilty for not following up with teaching T how to tie his shoes. We did it a few times but then just sort of forgot about it. I mean what kind of horrible mother am I, allowing him to get sneakers with Velcro instead of ties.
So what happens when I have all these worries is that I will obsess about them and if there are too many worries then my brain creates new make-believe worries. For example on my way to work on Tuesday, I kept imagining bizarre horrible accidents my kids could be in, I tried to talk myself down and say "It's just a weird thought, let it go"but they wouldn't go away. My heart started racing, I felt short of breath and chest tightness. I finally took a Xanax, just a half, and managed to get to work where my mind could focus on work instead of my personal life. Having the stress become so out of control is a rare occurrence for me, thankfully.
I'm feeling slightly better today. Yesterday was the first day of school and after I dropped the kids off, I came home and went straight to bed, where I stayed until 1:30PM! Just me and Cokee, cuddling and dozing on and off. It was wonderful.
Today I am tired but it's my own damn fault for staying up too late reading; I also still don't have my period, UGH! No, not pregnant, just starting peri-menopause. I would go back to bed now but there are men putting in a new bathroom floor right now. Maybe when they leave.

Saturday Sounds 10 or This Song is Dedicated to YOU!

2009-08-22T23:48:00.004-05:00

I want to thank all of you for the wonderful comments and emails I received regarding my last post. I was overwhelmed by your kindness and willingness to share your personal stories about adoption with me. I was brought to tears by most of them.
Okay, let's cheer the hell up! Here is a new song by Michael Franti and Spearhead, Say Hey (I Love You)
This is for you!

Cool video, huh?

Still Looking For My Biological Parents

2009-08-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

It's now been six months since I hired a Private Investigator to find my biological parents and still no news.

Some days I spend too much time obsessing about my current search, my past, my complaints about how things went regarding my adoption.

One thing that comes to mind is the first story(lie) I was told about my biological mother. I only say "mother" because I was never told any story about my bio father and it wasn't until I was older that I started wondering about him.

The first fictional story my parents told me about my bio mother was not an unusual one. Many adoptee's have been told the same thing.

"Your mother died."

According to my adoptive mother, this is what "the lawyer said to tell" me. I know when people tell me to do stupid things like jump off a bridge, I do it. To say there was no common sense or any thought for how this might make me feel, is and understatement.

Imagine as a young child to be told that your mother is dead but at the same time not given any encouragement to grieve over this horrible loss, instead being told how "lucky" you were to be chosen for adoption out of "all the other babies in the nursery".

How sad is that? My mother died but no one seems to think I should be upset about it. Nobody talks about it.

When I was little, before my adoptive mother changed the story several more times, I was sad about the death of my bio mother. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep, romanticising about what she might have been like. It was very confusing to say the least. I was too young to vocalize many of the thoughts, feelings and questions I was having, but they must have affected me deep inside even then.

Now, I can look back and think of some of the questions my subconscious mind must have pondered...
If my mother died...
Since I was adopted at birth (supposedly) did she die because of me?
Where is my father?
Where is my other family?
Do I have any sisters or brothers?

I still wonder every day about the answers to these questions.

Okay, not looking for sympathy with these posts; I just want people to gain some understanding about how closed adoption affects people.

Saturday Sounds 9 or Would You Like an Hors d'oeuvre With That Sweat?

2009-08-15T21:00:00.002-05:00

Me: We have to go to Northern Lights, just one more time, PLEASE!

Hus: Why? That placed is a death trap. No.

Me: But Social Distortion is playing there! Mike Ness, you like Mike and the current drummer played for The Offspring. You LOVE them. OOH and you know Social D will do Ring of Fire, Please! I've always wanted to see them. I may have seen them in the '80's but I can't remember.

Hus: Social D will draw a huge crowd. Don't you remember how bad that place was the last time we went there. It was raining sweat-other peoples sweat-from the exposed pipes on the ceiling. Gross.

Me: It's probably been fixed up since the fire. Remember when you were young and adventurous and going to a club like that was fun. Maybe we could bring an umbrella or wear a rain poncho. PLEASE!

Hus: Do you remember how hot it was in there. You don't do well in the heat. And you have to walk a mile to get to the ladies room.

Me: Ya, but... I have a Social D t-shirt!

Hus: That you bought at JC Penney!

Me: No, I bought my Red Hot Chili Pepper's T there; I got Social D's at Rockin Willy's.

Hus: Not going.

Me: But PLEASE! Do it for you father? He loved Johnny Cash. (low blow)

Hus: No.

Me:How bout I do something nice for you after the show?(low blow) You know how concerts turn me on, remember after Joan Jett?

Hus: No, well maybe.

Me: You know I didn't try to get you to go to see Green Day with me because the tickets were $150+ and I don't believe that a true Punk Rock band would ever charge that much (and now I change the station when Green Day is playing-but that's for another Sat Sounds) so guess how much these tickets are... $25, So cheap for a REAL Punk Rock band. PLEASE!

Hus: Maybe.

Me: Hey, remember the time my mother babysat while we went to a show there, and she asked if they served hors d'oeuvres?

Hus: BAWAhahahahahahaaha!!!

Okay, so Mike looks a little crazy in the vid,but he's supposed to. Maybe he just needs a little less eye liner.
I can't wait to see the show!

Poor Hus.

Love/Sex Child Couple # 1

2009-08-12T00:00:00.004-05:00

When I was younger, and even now, like the other night when the fam and I came up with this couple, I used to fantasise about who my parents might be. Sometimes I would imagine having famous parents, other times I was sure my schizophrenic aunt was my mother.

Couple # 1

Sally Field and Gene Wilder

= Me

Pretty brown eyes, nice smile, short stature(exactly the same height as me) + curly hair, awesome sense of humor = ME!

Just in case you are new here, I am kidding.

Saturday Sounds 8 or It Was So Shiny I Had to Touch It

2009-08-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

Back in the eighties, when I was cool, I frequented many dark and mysterious seeming "underground" night clubs. These were the type of clubs that weren't advertised in the local paper or listed in the phone book. Neo punkers, goths (aka death rockers) and rockers could be found hanging around in these places.
One night I was at one of these clubs talking with my friend Jack, looking around at the different interesting patrons and sipping a beer. Suddenly,in my peripheral vision, I noticed something large black and shiny.
I turned to look and was startled to see the longest, most luscious, shiny, perfectly straight jet black hair I had ever seen. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out and touching it. The owner of said hair turned to me and gave me a questioning glance. I smiled at him and said "Your hair is soooo beautiful and SHINY!"
The man, who I thought was very handsome, yet, not my type, smiled back and simply replied "Thank you."
We both turned away and resumed our previous conversations.
Jack's mouth was hanging open and he whispered to me "Do you know who's hair you just touched?"
"Nope, but it's really shiny, isn't it?"
"Ya, he's the lead singer of The Cult!"
"Oh, well his hair is shiny!" I replied as if that is an excuse to touch a complete strangers hair. I guess I was lucky he was so nice about it.

You don't have to watch the whole vid to get my drift.

Schlopp. Schlopp. Beautiful Schlopp.

2009-08-05T17:00:00.000-05:00

Beautiful schlopp with a cherry on top.
Dr. Seuss could always sum life up in a way nobody else could.

His writings and illustrations, quoted and shown above, are from his book "Oh the Thinks You Can Think!". I must have read that book a thousand times and I never got tired of reading it or looking at the pictures.

I find his illustrations remind me of well known artists, especially the surrealists, like

Salvador Dali (born the same year as Dr. Seuss) and Giorgio de Chirico.For example Giorgio de Chirico's Melancholy and mystery of a street.

So why is it that Theodor Seuss Geisel's, work doesn't appear in any of my fine art or English lit books? There are other cartoonists ( sorry about all the links) in my Jansen History of Art book.

The first time I attended college, I majored in Fine Art. I took classes in painting, drawing, lithography, art history and English literature. Not once did any professor mention Dr. Seuss.

In fact, I was taught by these community college art/literature professors to be an "art snob". We learned all about the famous da Vinci, Michelangelo, Botticelli, Picasso, blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I love these artists; I would kill to be able to be able to visit the Louvre at least once in this lifetime. But I remember the look my art history prof gave a student for asking why Norman Rockwell wasn't included in our book. Well, after that, I wouldn't dream of asking about Dr. Seuss. I rebelled in High School, not college.

Now I recognize what the profs were doing, but now I choose to like who I like, and not because everyone else likes them. Obviously if you've read my Saturday Sounds posts, you know. I feel the same way about music.

I'm lucky that my husband encourages me to decorate our house whatever way I want.

He never rolled his eyes once while I painted this Dr. Seuss fence on our living room wall. Note,the Grackle was my addition to the fence, not Seuss's.

My daughter also proudly displays his artwork on her person.

Oh and did I mention Dr. Seuss and I went to the same High School? Different years though.

They Are Everywhere

2009-08-03T16:23:00.007-05:00

Could my camping trip have been any worse than already described in my post "Vectors and Vermin"? Well, yes.

I had high hopes for spending Saturday at the lake. The weather called for mostly sun with highs in the 80's. I put on my new lovely pink sundress-not caring that I was camping-and made the one mile hike to the lake.

First thing I noticed was the unusually large amount of people at the lake that day. Must be some sort of reunion or party going on, whatever.

Hus made a comment that he noticed some adults wearing T-shirts that had "Ask me about adoption" printed on them.

At the exact time, I saw someone I knew playing on the beach with her adopted son.

OH CRAP. "Wouldn't you know that the one and only day I go to the lake this summer, it's the same day that Friends in Adoption were having their annual reunion. I remembered the acquaintance telling me about this get together where adopted kids and their adopted parents get together with the biological parents.

At this point E, my 11yo daughter, mentioned that she was thinking there were a lot of adopted kids at the beach because she noticed a lot of dark colored children with light colored parents.

Hus chimed in "And a lot of alternative couples with kids."

Right in front of us was a lovely good looking lesbian couple laughing and enjoying playing in the water with their son.

"Soo not fair, why couldn't I have been adopted by a cool progressive lesbian couple." (No offense dad)

Later the adoption people got together for a ginormous group photo. I saw how happy they all seemed and it made me sad.

It also made me imagine myself grabbing the bull horn out of the organizers hands and yelling into it "Screw you happy adoption people!"

I'm an Alien

2009-07-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm an alien. Not like E.T. or Mork, more like Superman, only Superwoman, with a temper like my favorite Alien, Sigourney Weaver's Alien.

It's been 5 months since I hired the private investigator to find my biological family and still nothing. The last email I received was to tell me not to worry, to give it 6-9 months. So I guess I'll really start to worry next month.

So for now I will continue my usual obsessing about who I am and where I might have come from.

Does anyone remember any meteor showers occurring in 1968? UFO sightings?

If I am really an alien, where are my superpowers?

I'm a cute alien though.

Vectors and Vermin

2009-07-21T12:57:00.006-05:00

I spent the weekend in a hell dimension where fire and rain live simultaneously in freakish harmony and where vectors enjoy eating you and vermin stop by during breakfast to steal your bagel. What horrid place on earth is this you ask?
CAMPING!!!
Hus and I have always said we are not "camping type people". We prefer to either rent a cottage or small apartment at the ocean for our annual vacation. Set up is minimal when we first arrive and clean up is also not much when we leave. Which leaves the week to play.
We have planned a Disney Vacation for this coming Fall so we couldn't afford to go for our beach vaca too. Hus and I, for some reason, most likely egging on by the children, decided we should try camping at a lake for a weekend getaway.
Well, we did it and if I ever mention doing it again, be sure to shoot me.
Camping is too much freaking work WORK WORK WORK!
Pack the car and truck, unpack the car and truck, set up tents, set up needed items around campsite like shampoo and conditioner, HA, spray yourself with bug spray (hoping it will work because some of those mosquito's are bigger than your head). Start a fire that Hus will magically keep going the whole trip. Cover tents with tarps because it is raining. Go for hike to find bathrooms and showers that cost money. No quarters, no shower. Hike to lake. Go back to tents, cook food. Sit around by citronella candles playing games while kids fight and I yell, then remember that here, camping, I have neighbors!
Move big tent into lean too because it is still raining and the tarps are not helping. Sleep together, poke whoever is snoring throughout the night. Wake up at six AM with a full bladder but don't want to hike to the bathroom, but can't pee outside when it is light out, so you try and hold it and go back to sleep hoping you don't pee the tent. Then struggle to get your tired fat old butt off the hard tent floor in the morning so you can enjoy a warm cup of instant coffee while wrestling a skunk for your bagel.
You get the picture. Thankfully it didn't rain the next day but there were still the mosquito's, hiking, fighting, more hiking and more cooking.
I ran out of wine by lunch time the second day. I forgot that when camping you have to start drinking at breakfast.
My hands felt sticky the whole time. Wipeys just don't cut it no matter what Brad Pitt says.
Now I know why most campers I know, bring a mini house with them when they go.

Saturday Sounds 7

2009-07-17T23:00:00.001-05:00

When I was young, I mourned many a loser, I mean lover, listening to this song. I still can't listen to it without crying. Luckily the radio stations I listen to don't play it so I don't have to worry about spontaneously breaking down in tears without warning. What song makes you cry?

My eyes are watering and I am not even sad!
I know my tastes is strange but fabulous. Hard core punk rock to Barry, what's not to like?

Haute Couture and Surfboards

2009-07-14T14:24:00.008-05:00

We are so lucky to have Suzy as our friend. She is just so thoughtful and caring, not to mention really funny, and was the first bloggy friend I had that quickly became my "real life" friend.
Suzy recently sent E and T these wonderful gifts, just because she knew they would like them.

First, E is going to need to buy some serious Haute Couture to wear this gorgeous bracelet with.

The miniature purse actually opens up and a small note can be placed inside.

Next, T was sent this hot 1949 Ford Woody surfer car complete with a surfboard on top. Too bad Vermont is a landlocked state.

Thanks Suzy!

Saturday Sounds 6

2009-07-11T11:39:00.004-05:00

I saw this band live back in 1987. It was the first and last time I ever went into a pit to slam dance. Well, not actually dance, just run around in a circle and hope you don't fall down. I did fall down but a nice punker, who was behind me, picked me up so fast my hands didn't even touch the floor.
Maybe this song subconsciously inspired me to become a nurse.
Enjoy DI's Pervert Nurse. Sorry I couldn't' find a vid with them performing live.

I'm off to work.

Oh and yes I did go see them on purpose.There will always be a little punk rock in me and I do have this song on my MP3 player!

It's All Rainbows and Mold Here

2009-07-09T11:42:00.007-05:00

If I see another rainbow, someone is going to pay! Most likely the people who live with me.

It's rained everyday for the last 12 days here according to the news from Burlington. I don't live near Burlington and I think it has been raining here daily longer than that. If it's not raining then it is cloudy. The sun peeks through the clouds, playing some mean game of hide and seek with us poor wet folks.

Oh and what beautiful rainbows! NOT! I mean they are beautiful,at first, then they just remind you that it was just raining and will surely rain again, in a minute!

It's damp and I fear mold is taking over everything around me including my brain. Did I mention that it is cold too. We've had highs of 65F and lows of 55F. Yay!

I'm also tired of all the joking going on about the weather.

"Hey, how ya doin?"

"Good, so suprised it's finally raining out."

"Ya, we could use it, it's been so dry."

BAAWAAHAAAAHAHAA! (Nervous laughter)

I took these photo's before the novelty wore off.

SCREW YOU RAINBOWS!

Saturday Sounds 5

2009-07-04T10:45:00.004-05:00

"What's a Disco Stick?" E and her girlfriend asked me late one night.

"Whoooaaat? Where did you hear that?" I questioned.

"Lady Gaga says it in her song 'Love Game', she wants to take a ride on his Disco Stick"

"Oh, um" Think quick Mama, make something up...

"It refers to a man's, ya know" I pointed down there.

Both girls blushed and broke out in extreme giggles at this.

I wondered if I did the right thing by telling the truth. I have trouble lying.

The next day, T came into the kitchen where the girls, Hus and I were standing,and casually pulled his pants down exposing himself, as 5 year old boys do frequently, and Hus said...

"T, put away your Disco Stick man!"

More gales of laughter.

My Big Summer Hair

2009-06-29T16:30:00.007-05:00

Help!

I've tried several hair products to straighten my hair and keep it straight through any type of weather. I'll get it pretty smooth, only have it change back to this if there is any humidity in the air.

Got any suggestions?

Saturday Sounds 4

2009-06-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

Sit back, close your eyes and reclaim your virginity...

I first heard of K's Choice when they performed this song at The Bronze on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I bet you thought I was going to do a tribute for MJ. Another time.

Hater's Not Welcome

2009-06-24T19:28:00.002-05:00

Warning: Controversial post following.
This morning E, my 11 year old daughter, woke me up by telling me she thought she saw a "white figure" standing outside her window. I jumped out of bed and looked outside my window then ran to her room to check, but there was no one there.
She said she wasn't sure if there really was a person there, stating that it looked like a "tall white figure" that disappeared around the corner of the house. Hmmm.
E informed me that she was IMing her girlfriend(something she is not supposed to do while I am sleeping) and that, said girlfriend told her to "grab something sharp and go look for him" WHAT?!!! (I knew I shouldn't have let them watch Charmed and Buffy with me on the last sleepover)
Luckily E did not follow this advice.

Later in the afternoon we saw a person on our porch. T, my 5 year old son, ran outside yelling "Papa!"
I shouted "NO, get back in here!" He did, but not before he ran smack into the middle age woman who was standing there.
No one ever comes here, except, well you know.
The woman said "I'm here to invite you to a seminar" and she thrust a sheet of paper toward me.
"So, what religion are you here representing?" I asked. "Religion A or religion B?"
The woman quietly answered "Religion B". Sneaky how they won't just come right out and tell you.
I'm sure all of you clever readers know which religion she was referring to. I'm not going to write the name here because I don't want google alert to find me, heh heh.
I was highly annoyed. "We love everyone here(not really everyone), your religion preaches hatred and intolerance and you are not welcome here"
She dropped the paper and scurried off to catch it.
"You should look into the hatred your religion teaches!" and I slammed the door.
I usually don't react that angrily with those people but I am sick of them showing up at my door every couple of weeks, PREACHING HATRED.
I ran to the look out of the front window. Damn it! Every time they come here they park their car diagonally behind my car, blocking any escape.
They even did that once when we were actually in the car.
I'm sure they are taught by the higher up haters to do this.
Okay, end of bitching.
I realized after she left that on the kitchen table were the shirts we had just finished tie dying. Great "we love everyone", I'm sure we were just brushed out of her mind as crazy hippies. Well, I like hippies!
As for the "white figure", Hus and I checked out the surrounding mud and woods later and didn't find any sure evidence of anyone walking back there. I hope it was just her imagination.

Saturday Sounds 3

2009-06-20T11:18:00.003-05:00

Today's Saturday Sounds goes out to Jeff. A little birdy, AKA your wife, told me you like music from the '50's and '60's, especially Elvis. Being that my taste in music is fabulous, I also love music from that time period and of course I love The King.

When I was in my early 20's, my girlfriends and I frequented, 3-4 times a week, a club named Shabooms. There, the DJ only played '50's and '60's music. A couple shot's of Tequila in the car before going in, a couple Long Island Ice Tea's when inside, and we would be tearing up the dance floor. So many great dances like The Monkey, The Swim, The Twist, The Watusi (which I thought was The Mashed Potato),and just jumping up and down were some of my favorites.

I can't remember all of the men I went home with after a night out at Shabooms. Seriously, I CAN'T remember.

Here are two of my favorite Elvis songs, a slow one and a fast one. Don't know why, I've never been to Kentucky.
Enjoy

Fairy Garden 2009

2009-06-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

Every Spring we set up our Fairy Garden. This year we added a new two story house painted by E and her friend. I also changed the pond from a plastic one to a metal one, made from the top of an unused bird bath.

The new house was lovingly placed next to the pond.

We moved the wooden bridge to connect two houses together.

I sprayed the fairies with gold glitter spray which sparkles in the sun.

I have to include at least one current view from our porch.

Happy Spring! It's finally here, just in time for Summer.

Saturday Sounds 2

2009-06-13T23:59:00.001-05:00

I like The Kings of Leon partly because I find the lead singers unusual voice pleasing to my ears and I like this particular song because it makes me want to sing along-about sad things

Like things I have lost but then they came back to me, a lost love, a lost pet, a lost cell phone...

Cat Whisperer

2009-06-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

Recently I discovered that my husband has a talent I didn't know about. We have 2 cats, Cokee, a 16 year old Siamese cat who never had a problem being around humans and Arthur who we rescued as a small kitten from a life on the street. Cokee has always enjoyed the company of humans and demands much attention from us. Arthur would let us pet him and occasionally but rarely would sit on a lap.
For a while Art was spending most of his time up in the loft all by himself. I just thought he didn't want to be around people, so I mostly left him alone, petting him the few times during the day I went up to the loft. Hus told me he was worried about Art,that he didn't think it was good he spent so much time alone. One night last week when I came home from work, I found my kitchen looking like a Petco exploded in it. There were cat toys and treats all over the floor! Hus told me he bought the toys in hopes of luring Arthur downstairs. Art did seem to like the toys but was still spending most days and nights alone.
Hus had a talk with the family. He asked the kids and I to pay more attention to Arthur. He encouraged us to pet Arty when near, call him down from the loft, offer him treats etc. We did what he asked because we do really love Arthur. I was skeptical thinking that he was just the type of cat that liked being a loner (Like me) but I was wrong.
Art started hanging around downstairs more and more. Now he even takes his morning nap with Cokee and I. Rarely we'll find him up in the loft and just by calling his name and petting him he stays with us. Now our whole family is together in the evenings.
Hus said to us one night." You people were going to leave poor Arthur all alone, forever."
"I just thought he liked it that way" I replied.
"He just didn't' know how to relate to people."
How sweet is that?

Before intense therapy...I'm not coming downstairs because you people are crazy!

After...Well, I guess these humans can be nice and this big bed is comfy.

Saturday Sounds

2009-06-06T18:00:00.000-05:00

As you may have figured out, I love music, all kinds of music. Mostly I listen to new and old alternative rock, but once and a while I find a new song I like that is not in that musical category.

The older dancers in E's recital did a hip-hop routine to this song. They did a great job with the robot zombie moves like in the video. I loved the song right away. Hus even liked it the first 20 or so times E and I played it on the computer.

During one of the rehearsals I mentioned to E that I liked this song and she informed me that she already had it on her MP3 player.

My daughter is soo cool.

LOUD!

2009-06-04T07:46:00.009-05:00

One word describes E's birthday party, LOUD! Luckily it was an outside party for the most part and even when it rained for a few minutes, the girls stayed in the tent. I got soaked while barbecuing burgers and dogs.

The cake was decorated with E and her party guests. I made them out of gum paste and E helped me paint them with food coloring. The girls made up a game to decide who would eat whom. In the end, most just wanted to eat themselves.

The Cake

Little brother T

Birthday Girl

Tent Full Of Screaming Girls

The Party Favors

The Scavenger Hunt for Favors

The favors included flowered metal buckets and lip gloss from the dollar store, Petunias, a lollipop, and necklaces from Michael's. Each one cost under $3.

Trapped

2009-05-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

Help! I'm trapped in an insane asylum with my mother.

Sake and Dance

2009-05-27T13:48:00.002-05:00

E had her non-dress dance rehearsal last evening. Tonight is a dress rehearsal. Some of the bad mom's, including me, sat in the back of the auditorium sipping alcoholic beverages and making fun of... that would be mean.

E did really well.

I recently finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha and watching the movie. I am now just a little bit obsessed with Japanese culture.

"Hus, could you plant some cherry tree's for me? Do they grow in Vermont?"

I have never tried Sake before so I bought some today while at the grocery store. Since it was a grocery store, they only had one type, of course made in California.

Don't worry, the rehearsals take almost 4 hours, so a little drink at the start in no way impairs me for very long. Unfortunately I have to drive.

Curtains Annoy Me

2009-05-25T14:30:00.009-05:00

I have a problem with curtains. It seems I can never find exactly what I am looking for and when I do, I no longer like it.

I repainted our living room about a year ago and have gone through four different curtains, so far.
The first curtains, shown in the first photo, I loved in the store. I liked them for less than a week at home so I gave them to E. This is how they look hanging in her room.

The second pair... I guess I had a thing for ribbons...

Everyone, including me, thought the third pair was lovely. The only problem was that if we unrolled them to block out the sun, I was the only one who could roll them back correctly. I also began to wonder if they would look better in a baby nursery because...RIBBONS!

These are the curtains that hang now. Nobody, except me, likes them. Hus thinks they're too dark. E says they don't block the sun well enough. T couldn't care less.

I'm off to straighten out the silhouette pictures on the wall.

Transcription Filled With Guilt

2009-05-21T18:44:00.005-05:00

I went out to dinner and a movie with my girlfriend the other night. We haven't been out for a few months because we are both busy with our kids and husbands. Before I joined my friend at the restaurant, I attended the kids grade schools report night. It's just like an open house only with a different name. After visiting all the rooms I planned on visiting, I left the kids and Hus at the school while they were in the middle of enjoying free ice cream.

At the restaurant, I was having a great time chatting with my friend and eating delicious Eggplant Parmigiana. I checked my messages before we headed off to the movie theater.

I had one message from my daughter. In a really really whiny voice she said...

"Mom, I need special medicine to put on my scars, cause I don't like them, I can' t stop picking them, so I need special medicine to put on um, and Bud lost his tooth while eating ice cream at school report night, and he swallowed it, so give him some money under his pillow, even though the tooth isn't there... IF you're the Tooth Fairy."

I felt a little sad and guilty hearing E talk about her scars. What she is referring to is a nervous habit she has of picking spots on her skin. We've been dealing with this on and off for a few years now. Not going to worry about it while out to dinner.

Next sad and guilty feeling came when I realized I missed T's first tooth coming out, by seconds! Oh well, I know I can't be there for everything. I put the guilt aside. I was having fun, damn it.

As I was driving home, at midnight, the real guilt hit me. OH CRAP! This was T's first tooth. For E, I had been prepared for the tooth falling out. I had a sweet book about the Tooth Fairy which came with a pretty little purple velvet pouch (kinda like a mini Crown Royal pouch) that I had ready to put under her pillow when her first tooth fell out. I knew for a week that T's tooth was loose and I still didn't prepare. If I just gave him money, E was surely going to tell T about the book and special pouch. Oh, dear. I'm such a bad mama.

So I stopped at the only store open all night, a convenience store, and searched the aisles for something, something...

Perfect, a bubble gum container, I wrote his name on it, stuck money in it and under his pillow it went.

Poor T.

Teen Angst

2009-05-17T16:41:00.003-05:00

In case you don't know already, I love songs, books, TV shows and movies about teen angst. If there were songs about angst in your 40's I would love them more. I heard this song today and remembered all the lyrics and sang along, loudly. It's okay to laugh at me, I know my taste in music is strange but fabulous.

Do I Look Familiar? Pt. 6

2009-05-13T13:57:00.004-05:00

I Don't Like The Locator

For those of you who are new here, my posts titled "Do I Look Familiar?" are about my search for my biological family.

I don't personally know Troy Dunn, the PI who hosts the Locator show, but I don't like him. When I saw the show advertised for the first time, I was excited. Yay, a show about finding lost people, including lost biological families. Since I have been searching for mine, I thought perhaps I could get some advice on ways to proceed with my search. My Hus and kids even encouraged me to apply to be on the show. With much hesitation, I did apply to the show. Hus and kids love the show. At first I found it too depressing, because of the lack of progress in my own search, to watch more than partial episodes. But then, after a while, I figured out what a joke the show is.The Locater doesn't ever locate anyone that you or I couldn't find with Internet access or a phone book. Of course HE needs his jet plane to FLY him to these people. Pahleeze! He always starts his searches out already knowing a key piece of information. Like a NAME! If I knew the names of my bio family, I could have, with a lot of time and energy, found them myself. Even if my bio mothers name is Mary Smith, I could conceivably find her. Of course I haven't heard anything back from the show. I'm sure my case would be too hard for them. I mean the viewers wouldn't want to watch a show about a challenging case. Right? Jerks.

As for the real private investigator I hired back in February, I haven't heard anything. I at least have faith that they are looking, since they don't get paid unless they find someone.

Well that's all for today's bitching session.

Happy Odd Day!

2009-05-07T11:45:00.007-05:00

Happy Odd Day to all you mathematicians out there! I heard on the news today that when the date includes all odd numbers in consecutive order it is celebrated. Apparently it only happens once or six times a century. (I wasn't paying too close attention) Woo hoooo!

Today is also my daughter E's 11Th birthday. I will be spending the day wrapping gifts, making cake decorations and preparing her favorite meal. She loves barbecued Baby Back Ribs. They cost $14, so I better not burn them.

Since I don't have the decorations ready for E's party, I will share some from my son T's 5TH birthday party. It was a Sponge Bob pool party. The kids had a great time swimming, eating and playing. The favorite game was something I made up called "Pin the Shorts on Patrick"...

Start with Patrick in his tightey whiteys...

Thn have the kids take turns taping shorts on Pat while blindfolded...

I decorated the pool deck with these hand painted characters from Sponge Bob. I drew them on poster board and the kids helped paint them.

Sandy

Mr. Crab

Have a great Odd Day!

Miscellaneous Manure Pt. 8

2009-05-05T12:42:00.001-05:00

How come Subway is supposed to be healthier than McDonald's, but after you eat a Subway sub, your hands smell like you ate a McDonald's burger? E and I ate Subway turkey subs in between softball practice and dance classes the other night. While I waited for E to be done with dance, I had to go to McDonald's to wash my hands to rid them of the smell!

I'm tired and a little depressed lately. It could be due to change in weather. One day last week it was 96F at noon, then 54F at 6:30PM. It could also be from lack of sleep or lack of drinking alcohol. I'm on the run too much to even enjoy a glass of wine with supper.

Hus has accused me of not saving money. He is a great saver and I spend almost every cent I make. Believe me, though, this money doesn't go to anything fancy. I spend it on groceries, kids clothes, doctor bills, etc. I do however allow myself to spend what remains after bills on luxuries like cheap wine or new curtains etc. Perhaps even a cute pink purse from TJ Max.
I started a retirement savings through work last year to add to my pension. I lost more than I put in. However, I realized, last week when I did my bills, that I do save money. How? Well, for the last 15 years I have rounded up my checkbook balance. I never round down. So I figured it out, and I probably have at least $1000 more in my checking than my checkbook balance says.
By being lazy, I have become a saver. HA!

I have free Showtime for three months on my Satellite dish because I am a "Loyal Customer". There hasn't been anything worth watching until the other night. I came home from work at midnight and flipped around and was very excited to find that Saw 1v was on! I figured I would just watch it for a few minutes then do some reading. Well, it was sooo gory and scary and of course really really dumb, I couldn't tear myself away. I even had to watch it through the spaces between my fingers at times. I watched the whole thing. I reprimanded myself for wasting time! Then I was scared to open the door to let the cats in and I had nightmares. I guess that explains my lack of sleep for one night.

Games and Names

2009-04-29T11:54:00.002-05:00

Games
"Did you spray my blanket with air freshener?" I asked this to my husband over the phone one afternoon. His answer "What?! Why would you ask that? I gotta get back to work(snort)."

Hus has a thing about smells. He would put an automatic continuous air freshener in every room and hallway in the house if I would let him. I prefer to smell nothing and extreme smells like onions or cheap perfume irritate my nose and eyes.
Hus tried for a while to hide plug in air fresheners in inconspicuous outlets, like behind the couch or behind the shelves in the hall, but my nose always found them. Each time I found one I would unplug it. In the morning he would plug it back in. Finally one day I took them all and hid them. But as a compromise I bought him one of the kind that only spray when someone walks by. With it, I gave him the scent of apples and cinnamon. He was thrilled and put it together right away.
That thing smelled worse than any other scent that had the pleasure of burning my nose hairs off! I threw the insert away.
Next I tried lavender, without any hope of it not smelling like cheap perfume, but to my surprise, I actually like the smell. However, I only allow it to be used in the bathroom. So if you come over to my house and use my toilet you will hear a strange squirting noise when you sit down. Perfect.
One night though, I picked up my favorite blanket, the one I scrunch up and use under my neck to support it while I read at night" What is that smell?" I wondered. I sniffed the blanket again and again. "AIR FRESHENER!, SON OF A BITCH, he got me!"
Another game my Hus likes to play, he does when I am home and 'on call' for work. Usually work will put me on call until 7pm. They can call right up to 7 and ask me to come in. Hus loves to call me from his cell phone at 6:59 and when I pick up the phone, devastated by the prospect of having to go to work, yells "SUCKER!". He thinks he is sooo funny.

Names
Here are some suggestions for a new name for my blog. Some are from family(mostly my daughter E) and some I received via email from you.

-Sleepy in Vermont
-Miscellaneous Manure ( title of one of my recurrent posts)
-Mama Overslept (Hus's idea)
-Heidi's Notes
-Short but Cute (E's favorite)
-Do I Look Familiar (also a recurrent title when I write about my adoption search)

What do you think?

Keepsake Boxes

2009-04-27T10:41:00.009-05:00

Every Passover the kids and I travel to visit my family in NJ. The littlest cousins exchange gifts,usually a toy or game. This year I decided to get them something special and I bought these wonderful keepsake boxes for the girls made by Stephanie and sold on her Etsy site Crafty Lolly. The one pictured is my daughter E's. Unfortunately, probably due to my drinking too much Passover wine, I didn't get pictures of the two boxes I gave to my cousins. Let's just say that the youngest one, I'll call her Princess A, loved hers. She carried it around with her all evening collecting discarded ribbons and anything pretty or shiny she could find, and placing them inside her box. Stephanie also personalized the box for the oldest girl, since she is not a princess type at all, but more of a softball playing, gonna be an astronaut someday, girl.

Check out the incredible details...

We were surprised to find that even the inside of the boxes were decorated.

And because I am extra special, at least she made me feel that way, Stephanie sent me this gorgeous lanyard made with my favorite colors. (Isn't my uniform top cute?)

You can also visit Stephanie at her blog Crafty Lolly. So, go now and visit!

That's Not My Name

2009-04-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking of changing the name of this blog. The current name GMCMama just doesn't seem to fit my personality.
I need some help from all of you to come up with a new name. So if you could comment and give me some ideas, I would appreciate it. Only you know objectively how I come accross online.

In case you are new here, these are a few things that I write about, in no particular order.
-Being a mama
-Being a wife
-Working as an RN in a small hospital
-Searching for my biological family
-Life in Vermont
-Msc. things I find funny

Here are some Acronyms for GMCM...
-Guys Must Carry Money
-Good Men Can't Masterbate
-Get Marijuana Come Monday
-Greyhounds Mostly Catcha Mousie

I can't wait to read what your ideas are!

When I'm 85

2009-04-21T10:00:00.003-05:00

If I live to be 85 I will...

-Start smoking cigarettes again.

-Eat chocolate cake every morning with my coffee.

-Learn how to play the drums.

-Take my sleeping pill and try to stay awake.(Oh, I already do that)

-Drop the F*bomb every other sentence, especially when talking with my grandchildren.

-Stop going to the dentist, unless he'll just let me inhale some nitrous for a few minutes.

-Trade my station wagon for a motorcycle.(One with a side car so I can take Hus with me)

-Buy a cane so I can hit people with it.

-Switch the covers on my DVDs to covers from Porn movies.

-Smoke pot again.

-Have a Pharming Party with all drugs from my friends medicine cabinets.

-Try Ecstasy. ("Hey grandson, don't forget to score me that dime bag and while your at it, pick me up some F*-en Ecstasy too, I'll share." "Yes, Grandma.")

Late Entry: Quit my job!