I spent the weekend in a hell dimension where fire and rain live simultaneously in freakish harmony and where vectors enjoy eating you and vermin stop by during breakfast to steal your bagel. What horrid place on earth is this you ask?
CAMPING!!!
Hus and I have always said we are not "camping type people". We prefer to either rent a cottage or small apartment at the ocean for our annual vacation. Set up is minimal when we first arrive and clean up is also not much when we leave. Which leaves the week to play.
We have planned a Disney Vacation for this coming Fall so we couldn't afford to go for our beach vaca too. Hus and I, for some reason, most likely egging on by the children, decided we should try camping at a lake for a weekend getaway.
Well, we did it and if I ever mention doing it again, be sure to shoot me.
Camping is too much freaking work WORK WORK WORK!
Pack the car and truck, unpack the car and truck, set up tents, set up needed items around campsite like shampoo and conditioner, HA, spray yourself with bug spray (hoping it will work because some of those mosquito's are bigger than your head). Start a fire that Hus will magically keep going the whole trip. Cover tents with tarps because it is raining. Go for hike to find bathrooms and showers that cost money. No quarters, no shower. Hike to lake. Go back to tents, cook food. Sit around by citronella candles playing games while kids fight and I yell, then remember that here, camping, I have neighbors!
Move big tent into lean too because it is still raining and the tarps are not helping. Sleep together, poke whoever is snoring throughout the night. Wake up at six AM with a full bladder but don't want to hike to the bathroom, but can't pee outside when it is light out, so you try and hold it and go back to sleep hoping you don't pee the tent. Then struggle to get your tired fat old butt off the hard tent floor in the morning so you can enjoy a warm cup of instant coffee while wrestling a skunk for your bagel.
You get the picture. Thankfully it didn't rain the next day but there were still the mosquito's, hiking, fighting, more hiking and more cooking.
I ran out of wine by lunch time the second day. I forgot that when camping you have to start drinking at breakfast.
My hands felt sticky the whole time. Wipeys just don't cut it no matter what Brad Pitt says.
Now I know why most campers I know, bring a mini house with them when they go.
