Manischewitz and Medication

Back on April 2ND I was tagged for a meme by Jess Riley, a talented, funny and insightful writer of Rileys Ramblings and author of her soon to be released debut novel Driving Sideways. I recommend stopping by and visiting her blog, you will surely enjoy it. I can't wait to read her novel, which will be released May 20Th.

For this meme there are the usual rules, which I am not going to follow. I also don't ever forward chain emails, even though I kinda do fear bad luck! I am just rebellious like that. I live life on the edge.

The meme states to share 6 unimportant things about myself. Instead of random unimportant things, I am going to list 6 unimportant things I did while visiting my aunts house this past weekend for Passover.

1) I found out I was wearing the wrong size bra. I hear about such things happening to other women, but never thought it could happen to me. My aunt J, whose house I was staying at during the holiday, owns a fancy lingerie shop. One of the things they specialize in is finding a woman's proper bra size and then selling them a really really expensive bra. There was good news and bad news for me.The bad news was that my back is bigger than I thought, I guess I am still in denial about my weight. The good news was that I needed a bigger cup size! I was wearing a B but I fit much better into a C! WoO WoO! (.)(.) changed to ( . )( . )! Then my aunt sold me the really expensive bra for cost, phew.

2) I told my mom that the outfit she wore made me want to break out in a song from The Sound of Music. It was a 2 piece casual set with a really loud pattern on it. Not exactly like the pattern on the curtains Julie Andrews used to make the kids play clothes, but curtain-like enough. Perhaps a cross between toile, paisley and faux brocade? A jacket or pants alone or maybe a purse made with that design would have been more appropriate and less straining on the eyes.

3)I shopped as much as possible. Where I live in Vermont I have to drive at least a half hour to go clothes shopping. My aunts house is a mile or less from every store imaginable. I spent time at Target first, but didn't find much, which is unusual. I spent more time a Kohl's where I found lots. Everything was buy one get one free. You didn't even have to buy the same thing, it just had to be 2 things made by the same brand. I only regret not having enough time to shop at Loehmanns.

4)I snuck contraband into my aunts house. Kosher for Passover houses are cleaned before the holiday to remove any bread or other yeast made foods. I have a habit of waking up in the early morning hours starving. The only thing I have found that fills my stomach, allowing me to fall back asleep, is a Fig Newton. So I snuck them in via my suitcase, sorry aunt J!

5)I drank kosher wine. I always bring kosher for passover wine with me so I don't have to wait to be offered a drink, heh heh. My family, well most of them, are not big drinkers. I, on the other hand must have a drink before and Seder begins. The Seder is the special meal, which includes reading from a special book, singing Hebrew songs, drinking Manischewitz wine and eating special Passover foods. Did I mention singing?

6) Last, and perhaps not such an unimportant thing, more of an important thing about my Passover time, is the fact that I needed to medicate myself with Xanax every morning. Each morning after I drank my coffee and ate breakfast, I medicated myself with Xanax. The reason, which is old news around here, is my mother. I cannot be around her without medication. If I don't take something, she will suck the energy and life and any amount of happiness I might be feeling at the time, right out of me. I skipped Passover last year because I hadn't yet discovered the wonder drug Xanax. I can be around my mother and not feel like I want to strangle her or at the very least yell at her and tell her how crazy she is. The sad part about Xanax is that the effects are not lasting and it has no effect on my memory. Tuesday night, after a day driving home and not taking any med, was horrible. I spent the night obsessing about all the mean, wrong things my mother said or did during the weekend, which I didn't react to at the time. Reacting to her behaviors, trying to talk about my feelings or perceptions is useless and has always led to more heartache and pain for me. So the Xanax helps me not expend useless amounts of my energy and sanity on trying to fix things with her. Believe me I have tried time after time over the years and I get nothing but more pain. I am done with that. Obviously she doesn't give a crap about me and I do my best to accept this. If it wasn't for my children, who don't know yet how crazy grandma is, I probably wouldn't speak to her at all. But if at any time she becomes a negative influence on them, I will break all ties. They don't need to suffer from her bullshit games like I did. Okay, enough info for a separate post! Bored now.