Monday, December 31, 2007

It Suddenly Occured to Me

We were all sitting at the table the other night, having a "normal" dinner together. Me, my hus, E and T were there. As you may know, E is my nine year old daughter and T is my 4 year old son. Well, we were enjoying our usual dinner conversation, everyone competing to be the loudest and most obnoxious, I mean, interesting one. My hus made a comment on how he thought E had a crush on a boy named, I'll call him "D", and I said I thought she had a crush on J not D. We laughed, at her expense, and I said "Well, E, you are too young to have a boyfriend anyw......" and I couldn't finish my sentence because it suddenly occurred to me, I had a boyfriend in fourth grade, which was when I was nine!!!!!

Wait, this can't be right, I thought to myself, when I remember being much older in fourth grade. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. I always thought I was good at remembering what it was like being young, which I think is helpful when trying to understand my children, so how could I forget such an important thing? Denial? Wishful Thinking? My daughter is not too young to have a boyfriend, at least not the same kind of boyfriend I had when I was nine.

His first name was Alex and I don't remember his last name. We were both in 4Th grade and we were considered boyfriend and girlfriend for maybe a couple of months. I know it was 4Th grade because I also remember my sweeties from 5Th, 6Th and 7Th grade. My memory after 7Th starts to become a little fuzzy as that is when I started to smoke cigarettes, drink beer and smoke pot. I remember Alex would call me on the phone and we would talk. I have no idea what we talked about, but that and the occasional hand holding, was the extent of our relationship.

E still insists she doesn't have a crush on any boy, and only girls call her on the phone. But I guess I should be prepared for when the boys start calling.

E is also at the age where I am supposed to be talking to her about her body and the dreaded Period! I didn't think of that either until a girlfriend of mine told me that she got her period when she was nine. Uh Oh, I thought I would have a couple more years, but sadly, no. I'm a nurse so it is not hard for me to talk about bodily functions, but it is not easy for E to hear about stuff like that yet. She has always known about a Period, but never any specifics. So when I approached her, she was not immediately ready. I didn't force her to listen, I just told her that she can come to me with questions as she wishes.

Well, a few weeks after our initial talk, she did come to me. I told her what I could and as I did she got a horrified expression on her face and told me "That's all for now".

While I was shopping for Xmas gifts, I came across the book pictured below. It is a very easy to read, made for pre-pubescent girls, body book. It talks about all the body changes expected during puberty, not just periods. I read it and then gave it to E (not as an Xmas gift!) and told her she could read it if she wanted, then ask me questions.

She took the book and disappeared into her room for about 3 minutes, then came running out, slammed the book on the counter in front of me and yelled "THAT IS DISGUSTING, I WILL NEVER GET MY PERIOD!!!!" She hasn't mentioned it since, which is OK. At least she will not be shocked when she does get it. And have bitchy stuck up mean girls throw tampons on her in the girls locker room like I did, I mean Carrie did.

I have not even thought of how to approach the SEX talk. Since I was a virgin until marriage, I mean until I was 16, hopefully I have a few years to figure it out.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas

I will return to my regular blogging schedule ASAP after Christmas. I have been working the last 3 evenings 3PM-11PM and I have to work tomorrow Christmas Eve also. Don't feel sorry for me, I had a whole week off before this 4 day stretch started.
I thought I would share with you one of my favorite movie quotes ever, Christmas movie or not.

From the movie Christmas Vacation:

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Thanks Chevy for always making me laugh.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Snow? Sleet? Freezing Rain? Make Up Your Mind!

It has been an all cookie, candy weekend here. Yesterday afternoon the kids and I made gingerbread cookies and houses.Last night we decorated the houses and ate way too much candy! I would have made other cookies but when I started to make frosting for the gingerbread, I realized I only had a half a box of confectioners sugar, not enough for the gazillion cookies we made. So I had to reluctantly go to the supermarket to buy some. Luckily the snow hadn't started yet. At the market I bought 5 boxes of confectioners sugar because it was on sale for $1 a box, peppermint extract because I wanted to try to make peppermint bark, dark chocolate and white chocolate and a container of vegetable shortening, just in case. I got in line at the checkout, of course 2 people behind an old guy whose check wouldn't go through at first but then did, and the guy directly in front of me who was buying 3 supermarket bakery sugar cookie platters and 5 containers of supermarket bakery made frosted cookies. For a second I thought "How easy would be to just buy supermarket made cookies and be done with it, I would even have time for a nap!". But I know what the supermarket cookies taste like,SHIT! If it were a real bakery then I might consider it. But this market has no bakery actually in the store and gets their baked goods shipped, I've even heard frozen. Plus I like to bake, and I don't like peppermint, so making peppermint bark is no added poundage to my waist.
Today we made more gingerbread cookies, dough for the spritz cookies I plan on baking Wednesday for E and T's school parties, and 3 different kinds of bark. Then I drank a bunch of wine, but that has nothing to do with this post.
Also, the weather here has been really bizarre this winter, and this storm is no exception. It seems like the snow we have been having is wetter than usual. I know this sounds strange as snow is made up of water. But some snow is lighter and snowier than other. The snow we've had this year has been mixed with freezing rain. It is perfect for packing and we have already made a snow fort and snowman, but it would be nice to have just regular light feathery snow.
Last night it snowed from around 10PM to 10AM and then it did nothing. Freezing rain started around 3PM today which quickly changed to sleet then to snow then to freezing rain. I am not sure what it is doing now. I am glad, however that I am not working this weekend!
Here are some pictures I just took standing on my porch. The first is without a flash and the second is with a flash. I hope wherever you all are it is warm and you have a lot of Xmas cookies to eat.


I just read my hus this post and I commented "isn't that strange?"meaning the way the second photo came out reflecting the snowfall. And he said yeah "It is strange that people put their pool a mile away from their house!" Really it is only 120 feet away from the house. I know this because I measured the distance when we were trying to get satellite Internet. I wish it was summer and I was complaining about having to vacuum the pool!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Dear Santa

I came home last night from work and found a lovely hand made Christmas card my daughter had made for Santa, lying on the kitchen table. It was written in her best penmanship, but if I tried to scan it to my computer, then upload it to blogger, it probably would not be legible. I typed it over so I could share it with you.

Dear Santa,
The things I want for Christmas are…
A labtop, fast inernet cervice, disney magazine, pencils, Earasers, a pencil box that fits in my desk, amercin girl doll, M.V.P. player, Hanna Mounta bed spread, and a snow globe. Also santa when you go down the chimney watch out for the fire.
Love E

Friday, December 07, 2007


Things my husband has said recently:

" I bought this huge roll of tinfoil at the dented can store, so don't be afraid to use it."

" I am sure that God is a woman."

" I don't remember farting, maybe it was you."

" That is enough "mama's", T."

" I am not buying you a waffle maker for Hanukkah because it will just make a mess."

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Hanukkah everyone!

I haven't had a whole lot of energy or time lately for writing. My mind and body have both been taken over by a holiday demon bent on total psychological, physical and financial destruction and who is not planning on leaving until December 26Th! Actually it is really just psychologically and physically exhausting me . I refuse to let it get me financially. There are a lot of good intentioned parents out there who think it is OK to spend $500(Wii) on one toy for a 40, I mean 4 year old for Xmas, but it ain't this parent. I did however break down this year and buy E(9years old) an American Girl Doll. She has been asking a few years now for one but I felt she wasn't old enough to take care of it and to also appreciate that if she gets expensive toys she will get less toys. I think she understands this now and will really be surprised when she gets her long awaited $100 doll!

Lately it seems like every morning when I wake up I think "How the hell will I get done everything I need to get done today?" For months I have on and off worried about Hanukkah coming so early in December this year, I just knew I wouldn't be ready. But somehow I was. It's just lately I have been feeling blah, perhaps the lack of sunshine or antidepressants in my body contributing to my blahness. In case you don't know from previous posts, we celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas at our home. I was raised Jewish and my husband raised some type of Christian. This year I came up with a great plan. I would take E and T to the dollar store and let each of them pick out 8 presents for the other, and let grandma and grandpa take care of the rest. So far it is working great. Grandma sent 2-3 presents for each child for each day of Hanukkah, some just little gifts and some bigger and Grandpa is coming to visit December 15Th and will bring more Hanukkah presents. So all I have to do is shop for Xmas, which is no easy task, but I think I am done with the kids gifts. I have no idea what to give my hus... maybe a cheap bottle of wine and a porn magazine, goodness knows I am too tired!

Here is a picture of some visitors we had Monday on our land. Too bad I prefer Ham at Xmas!

I have also updated my blogroll so check it out and check out Teeny Manolo, Gina needs to keep her job.