Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Birthday Bitching

It's my birthday today. 42. I don't really care about the number, but I do care about how I feel at 42. Lately, not so good. Tired, forgetful, deaf, fat. I've been working with my doctor to try and figure out WTF is wrong with me, if anything. I had some blood work to check my thyroid etc. and the only thing that came out abnormal was my cholesterol. High of course. So that ruled out Hypothyroidism, damn it. My numbers were closer to HypERthyroidism, which should mean I would be thin and overly energetic, damn it.

I'm going to have a sleep study done to find out if I have apnea or Restless Leg Syndrome or any other thing keeping me awake at night. Even if I get enough hours of sleep, I wake up several times during the night and wake up tired and "foggy". The most bothersome symptoms are the fatigue and what I call "Brain Fog". These could be from lack of sleep or side-effects of Peri-Menopause-which I do know I've started. Damn it.

I have gained a lot of weight over the last 10 years. I really want to exercise and eat better but I am just too tired to care enough. I've started increasing my vitamin intake but that doesn't seem to help. The other day I tried taking a caffeine pill and guess what? Still tired. Damn it.

Maybe I just need a really long nap, like until Spring.


Me, 40 years ago, still the same attitude as today...



20 Years ago, looking skinny in horizontal stripes...
Another of me 2o years ago, because 22 was good year for me...(Hus hates this photo of me;The big hair scares him!)




And me today...



The side effects of peri-menopause suck. Weight gain, unwanted facial hair, irritability have lead me to a life of crime...Do you think I'll be able to take a nap in prison?


Happy Fucking Birthday to Me!

11 comments:

Gina said...

Oh Heidi, I'm sure you are just as cute now as at 22!

Happy B-day and I hope you get to the bottom of what is wrong.

Shelly Overlook said...

Happy Happy Birthday to you!!

I LOVE the big hair picture.

I'm sorry you feel so shitty lately.

barb said...

Well, we can't be 20 forever, kiddo! I love your short hair and your striped look... Like a Twiggy model, only less anorexic and skeletal. OK... the Twiggy reference dates me. I am 55. And I looked danged good at 42! It was 2 years after my divorce and 2 years after losing a bunch of weight. The weight, raising a family and working is what is making you tired. Only exercise will change that. As a nurse I know you know that caffeine only makes you more alert, not un-tired.

So! Give yourself a birthday gift and DO something about it! That's what I am doing, too! Because I want to feel really great again!

Happy Birthday! Big hugs xo

Suzy said...

What a funny post. Sorry to laugh at your pain but it WAS funny.

Happy Birthday kiddo. Having you in my life is a present to me so I guess I don't have to get a present to you, right?

I don't understand me either.

Brian Miller said...

happy birthday! 42 is still way young...hope you get that nap. smiles.

nice pics!

otin said...

Life is a double edged sword. When you gain weight, you become lazy and slothish and don't want to do anything(Trust me, I know). The only way to get energy is to work out and lose the weight, which is tough because it takes energy to work out, which is lacking because of the weight! Happy Birthday!

Everyone tells me to start a walking regiment!

Bethany AKA Mother of the Munchkins said...

First let me say, Happy birthday!!! We February b-days rule! Second, I hear you, girlfriend! I've been on the same path for seemingly an eternity now and just turned 36 a handful of days ago. My only saving grace so far this winter has been Vitamin D and my treadmill. I've not been so bluesy, tired or dealing with as many colds as I've had in previous winters. It's only been a few months but always hopeful of finding the right pieces to the puzzle that makes health crappy sometimes.

Lainey-Paney said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!

......and you need to go ahead & warn your husband now: all things 80s are making a come-back. If he doesn't watch out---you just might tease your hair, and smack 'em with your leg warmers.

Wishing 4 One said...

Happy bday girl. I love you now at 42 stripes still do you good.

Ma said...

Oh man - I would so like to tell you that it just gets better as you ease into your twilight years...but I think I'll stop right there. We were all hot 20 years ago - well, make that 40 years ago for me. I just hope you can shake the torpor, and maybe it will take a good shot of spring to do it.

Your new look isn't so bad, but I see what you mean about the unwanted facial hair...

Karen MEG said...

Heidi, you crack me up! Happy belated birthday - I have to agree with you, though, your 40's can rather sucketh, once your body starts falling apart for unknown reasons.

I had to laugh at the last picture though, and how it had a similar theme to you as a teen in that cute striped dress! Such a cute shot!

I love the big hair pic too... and the 80s and big hair did rock, though, seriously. My hair was big too, but yours was AWESOME ;)!