Nine Going on Fifteen

What happened to my sweet little baby girl? The one who used to like to wear pretty dresses and let me do her hair? The one who used to come running to me when I would pick her up from pre-school? The one who would talk for hours non-stop? So much so that I would have to ask her, beg her for some quiet time. She's still there, I know she is, living somewhere perhaps not so deep inside my sweet big girl or trapped in the pages of my scrapbooks. She's the one who won't wear dresses or let me do her hair and now who now gives me attitude instead of kisses when she comes home from school. The one who keeps secrets from me because she shares them with her girlfriend instead. Sometimes, especially right before falling asleep at night, that little girl returns. Maybe it's because she's tired she lets her guard down, or maybe because at this time I can really focus and listen to her and her alone, that at night sometimes she comes back to me.

She is a big girl now, all of 9 years old, going on 15. She used to have pictures of kitty's on her wall and hearts and frilly little girl things. She couldn't go to sleep without her ballerina music box playing. Now she begs to stay up later so she can watch another teeny bopper show and her walls are covered with posters of her favorite idols. She has a best girlfriend who she talks to on the phone about school and TV shows and whatever 9 year old girls talk about everyday. She even went to her first real teeny bopper concert a few weeks ago.

E tries to be a good girl and I try to be a good mom, but it's not easy. We can become easily frustrated with each other and while I am supposed to be the adult, sometimes she can bring me down to her level without much effort. I try to empathize by remembering how hard it can be for a kid, all the pressure of schoolwork, relationships and especially new feelings, body changes, bullies and extra curricular activities can make them tired and decrease their ability to control themselves. Same goes for mama's, especially the tired part. I yell a lot more when I am tired, it only makes sense.

The pictures above were taken of E's bedroom when it was in the loft. We recently had to move her to a room closer to our bedroom because she "can't sleep soo far away" from us. I guess she is not such a big girl after all.

Just for fun, and because I like flashbacks, here are some of mama's teen idols.

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly...Hair Pt7 Finale

When I was 17, I moved from Massachusetts to California with my friend Stefanie. She was from LA so she wanted to move back. I went with her to keep her company and because I thought that if I stayed home with my parents I was sure the CRAZY would suck my soul away and I would lose my mind.
Stef did her best to keep the crazy away from me. However, being that I was a teenager without any goals at the time, a different kind of crazy found me. I could write several pages on the short time I spent in California, but this is a hair post. Maybe I will write more about those days another time.

This is no faux-hawk this is the real thing people. I would shave my head Friday nights after work and by Monday it would look like this. On weekends I frequented a club called Fenders , somewhere in Los Angeles,where they had local punk bands play. I also went into the Pit once to slam dance. Only once because at the time I weighed under 100lbs and kept getting knocked over. The people in the pit were nice enough to pick me up, but I was scared I might actually get injured.
Well, now you know my favorite hairdo of all time. I also still love punk rock music. Maybe one day I will give myself another Mohawk.

"I'm not crazy...institution... your the one that's crazy...institution!"...Suicidal Tendencies

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly...Hair Pt6

I have posted everyday for 6 days and I have one more hairdo surprise for tomorrow. It has been fun, but I will probably have to go back to just once a week posting. We will see.

This funky flip hairdo is apparently from 1983 which is time stamped in the corner of the right picture. Of course it is a bad replication of the famous Farrah Fawcett flip. I used to love Charlie's Angels.

These pictures were taken while I was on a trip to Texas visiting family. I wasn't really drinking beer. And that is the one and only time I ever wore a cowboy hat.

I just noticed the tie which was made up of different color ribbon like strings tied together. Anyone remember those?

Oh, and how many of you had braces? I had to wear the ridiculous headgear prior to having mine. What a Dork, E would say. When they finally were taken off I was supposed to wear a retainer. I didn't like that at all. Once on another family vacation to Florida, I left it in the hotel room hidden under the mattress. OOPs. Too late to go back when I finally admitted I had "forgotten it" half-way home!

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly...Hair Pt5

I have always liked this picture of me. I would of course like it better if my hair wasn't 2feet tall. And it is quite frizzy. My hairstyle these days is pretty similar only much less tall and much healthier.

I think I made a mistake when I wrote that the first hairdo I posted was from the late '80's. This in fact was my hair in the late '80's. The other was a few years later. I remember having this and other black and white photos taken of me by a friend who was taking a photography course. I was majoring in fine art. I wanted to be an artist, painter, sculpter etc. But after I graduated changed my mind. Mostly because I just didn't think I was good enough. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. Now I just mostly do crafty things and I am good at that.

Recent conversation with my husband regarding this photo:

Hus: "Are you going to put that picture out?"(I was holding it and also a frame)
Me: "Yeah, why? You don't like it?"
Hus: "It's a bit scary"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Hus: "Your hair"
Me: "When I first showed you this picture many years ago, you said I look pretty, so if you say I look pretty in a new photo, maybe your just saying that?"
Hus: "Of course I think you are pretty, I think your beautiful, I love you"
Me: "Alrighty then"

He can really turn things around, can't he? Pretty slick.

The Good,the Bad and the Ugly...Hair Pt4

I really am hesitant to post this picture. I am not sure why it bothers me more than the rest. Maybe because it is the most recent (7 years ago) one I have posted. And I think I should have known better. Confession: Sometimes I cut my bangs TOO short! And WTF? Is that a SKORT? (Hey that sounded like a Dr Seuss Rhyme) What was I thinking. I guess I was going through a "I want to look like a normal clean cut mama"? And it's any ones guess what color that is. Loreal #24,357,890,787.54?

Sorry I can't show my little mini-me. Hus would be upset. She also has bangs which are too short and also crooked, but her natural color. I think she is around 2years old in this picture. I was doing Weight Watchers at the time and had lost most of my E weight. I had gained 10 back by the time I got preggo with T. And I am not saying how much I gained while pregnant and that I still haven't lost it! Needless to say, this may be the most recent picture you see until I join WW again...

Or let my bangs grow.