Today is my 40th Birthday. I wish I could say that after I post this, I am going to climb back into my bed, under my warm cozy sheet’s, and stay there until Monday. But, alas, no. After all, I am a grown-up with responsibilities, whether I want them or not. I actually don’t mind that it is my 40th birthday, as opposed to my 20th. I think that I look young for my age, maybe I do, or maybe I am just short. Anyways, what really is bothering me is my body. I can’t lose a pound (or 30) to save my life. I mean, literally, losing weight could potentially save my life. With the exception of the last 4 and a half years, I have always been a healthy weight. After my first pregnancy, I lost the weight I gained in under 2 years. Both pregnancies I gained around 42 pounds. I automatically lost 10-12 pounds after delivering. And now I am stuck.
With E, I lost all the weight doing Weight Watchers. I have started and stopped WW at least 10 times in the last 4 years. I have also tried exercising, and even when I have fun with it, I don’t want to do it the next day.
Yesterday, my hus asked me what I want for dinner tonight. I said “cake and champagne” and he replied “Cheetos and M&M’s too?” I laughed because I don’t like Cheetos. Pleeeeease, I need help! Am I turning 40 or 4? UGH!
At the beginning of the year I was tagged by Karen MEG at A Day In The Life… for a New Year, new way to think about something Meme. It was the Think Differently Challenge, and I am sorry I am not following all the rules. It has taken me this long to think of something to write about. Well, it is the start of a new year for me today. What I need to do is to start thinking about my body and my weight in a different way. Maybe not such a negative way. Obviously, my way of thinking now, is not working. And obsessing over it is not working either. I need to take action, but I am not motivated to do so. I have a lot of ideas, Yoga? Meditation? Psychotherapy? Increased caffeine intake? Crystal Meth? (just kidding). I wish I knew how to start.
For today, I guess I will just eat my cake and drink my champagne and try and RELAX.