Last week I was having a particularly stressful day at home with my kids. I had no patience with them that morning, like many mornings, but this one for some reason I felt more agitated. Every word out of their mouths was making my muscles feel like they were being constricted. If I heard the word "Mama" one more time my head would explode! I can't even remember what happened or what they were doing to drive me insane that day. But I felt like I just had to escape for a few minutes at least, alone. I find it very difficult most days to continuously answer questions and always pay attention to what my kids are doing. "Watch this Mama, I can jump on one foot" "Look Mama, that's a tree!" "Mama, I am hungry". Sometimes I snap. "Listen, people, Mama needs to not hear the word Mama for a while, can you just go do something by yourselves which doesn't involve hitting one another with a croquet mallet?" Yes, my son attempted to hit E while she was swinging on our tire swing because he thought it should be his turn! Yikes! Sometimes I even YELL!
Anyways I left my two children inside while I went outside claiming I needed to get something from the van. I really went outside to clean the van and I didn't want help. While I was sorting through all the trash and papers thrown about the vehicle, I came across this song E had written. My heart sank. It is so sweet. I wondered how long ago it was written, it had to be after Christmas as that is when she got her guitar.
So maybe my yelling once in a while and need for time on my own is not scarring my kids mentally for life. I really hope not. I really do love them and I am glad E knows it.