Monday, January 12, 2009

Don't Say 'Vagina' at the Dinner Table

Happy Delurking Day everyone! I received an email from Shelly informing me that today is Delurking day. Even though the day is almost over, I hope everyone who stops by will leave a comment. Maybe I'll get some inappropriate comments because of the title. I hope so.

Some ridiculous things I have done this past week...

1) Burnt my forehead with my hair straightening iron. Burned it significantly, so people ask me what the hell did I do to my forehead.

2) Burnt my forehead a second time. I look retarded.

3) Noticed that there are heat settings on the iron and turned the heat down, finally.

4) Said "Vagina" at the dinner table. Luckily at home. Explanation follows.


Why I said Vagina.


T is in need of speech therapy. He has trouble with a few letters but mostly the teacher and I are concerned because sometimes he has a trouble getting whole sentences out. It's almost like a stutter but he repeats the beginning of a sentence over and over.

Anyways, when I told him he needed speech therapy, he asked "What's sweech farapy?" Heh heh.


The other night at dinner T exclaimed "This vagina is dewicious!"

I nearly spit out my wine.

"Did you just say vagina?" I asked.

To which E, turning bright red in the face, yelled "MOTHER! He said LASAGNA!"

So I turned to T and said "Thank you. It's meat loaf."

15 comments:

Suzy said...

That is the funniest post ever. Keep it aside for #2 book. I'm still laughing.

Shelly Overlook said...

OMG, that is so freaking hilarious!!!

MereCat said...

Holy crap! That was hilarious! The best part.. . "thank you. it's meatloaf."

Sheri said...

Sounds like my life! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Sheri said...

I just noticed while perusing your blog that you are also a reader of Roc Rebel Granny, me too! Small world!

Violet said...

I always give it the benefit of doubt when my daughter says something suspicious. Like, when she said "shit" I did not ask her whether she said "shit".I just told myself she was saying "sit". Hope your forehead looks more normal now :-)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Those stories are the reason it is great to have a blog--preserved for posterity!

WillThink4Wine said...

Bwahahahahaha! Oh my goodness! That's the best laugh I've had in a while! Well, except for your maimed forehead, your son's needing speech therapy and your wasting of perfectly good wine!

Misty said...

Meatloaf! Too funny. :)

Ma said...

Hey scarface - sorry I'm missing the chance to make fun of your appearance in person. Self-maiming aside, the humor of your account made me laugh so hard I was in danger of popping my stitches, and they're all the way down on my thigh - great post!

Team Serrins Springfield said...

Hey back. Yes, you read right that I'm a Buffy fan. Huge fan too. You're more likely to read anything about Buffy or the Dollhouse or other viewing/reading/exercise/parenting stuff at my blog #2:

http://themamatoo.blogspot.com/

and just see cute pictures of the kids at the main one.

You're welcome to visit at either. Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, and since I don't want to be totally off-topic and self-serving, I'll tell you that I had a college friend who was baby-sitting a 4-year old once who walked through the room, picked up some thing off the floor, looked at it, and dropped it again saying, "Oh, it's just a uterus." My friend said, "a what?" and the kid showed her a sure-enough small rubber uterus model that aparently had gotten brought out of said kid's doctor/parent's home office.

And with a almost 5-year old boy, we have certainly talked about peni at the dinner table so why not vagina?

Zip n Tizzy said...

Love it!

As for the forehead, maybe you could borrow back some of that tissue you used to disguise your children.

alison said...

How do you clean tea out of a keyboard? I had a spitting incident. That was HILARIOUS! Especially the meatloaf part. And I've done some pretty stupid things this week too. Like melt a bunch of plastic implements in the oven.

Happy late delurking day to you too!

Kate The Great said...

LOL! Try saying Regina (city in Saskatchewan) at the dinner table... we giggle at our house a lot over that one...

Lainey-Paney said...

OMG, I'm laughing so hard at my desk.

The vagina story----you have GOT to tell that child's spouse some day.