Monday, November 05, 2007

Dogs and Cats

A favorite co-worker of mine showed this to me and I found it extremely funny. I hope you enjoy.

**Excerpts from a Dog's Diary**
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

**Excerpts from a Cat's Diary**

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now....

That's my Cokee, she certainly doesn't look like a prisoner to me!


Shelly Overlook said...

I've seen this before and love it b/c it is so damn true!

Your kitty is gorgeous!!

Alissa said...

I've seen that in an e-mail, and I love it!

Although, I'm not sure my cats think like that :-)

hellomelissa said...

that wouldn't be my cats' story. they are spoiled rotten.

but that is definitely jane's dog story.

Karen MEG said...

That's hilarious. I'm not really an animal person (I'm also allergic to cats). But my kids love animals, my girlie especially loves cats.
Your kitty is beautiful, BTW.

Anonymous said...

love your cat. shes beautiful!
Your blogs are so much fun to read. From yesterday, "$1.00 or more", so much for the penny :)

Gina said...

Yes, the cat diary is hilarious!

Family Adventure said...

Heidi, that's hilarious! :)
Thanks for the laugh. Just what I needed this morning.